This has been a great weekend. I am sad that it is coming to an end. On Friday night I went to Bahama Breeze with two of my friends. None of us had been there before. The food and drinks were great. The service was excellent. If you are in Baltimore, go check it out. Also, ask for Michael O. He was our server and he was the best. He really added to the dining experience.

Yesterday, I went to Leader planning meeting. We didn’t have as many women there as I expected but we did have women there that were ready to work. I feel good about working with other troops in other communities. It will give our girls a chance to get know people outside of their immediate neighborhood.

I went to a cook out with my adopted Baltimore family. I had a great time laughing and talking. The food was great. Most of all it was good to spend time with people that you love and care about. I like being alone. I can go a long time without seeing or talking to anyone and it wouldn’t bother me. Since Destiny is not here, I could spend my entire weekend inside the house doing nothing. But, going out with my friends and spending time with my family reminds me of the human interaction that I need.

Today, I put out the trash. Got some stuff from the grocery store. I bought some fruit that was definitely not from Whole Foods. I think my taste buds are getting spoiled. I did a little writing today. Well, I am about to get a cup of tea. Go to bed. Get up in the morning and go to work.

Holler at you Later,
Kenya

Best Thing I Read All Week:

Love what you do and it will be great. Love the world and it will be beautiful. Love this day and it will bring fulfillment. Love yourself and you'll grow stronger. Love others and they'll blossom. Love learning and you'll be wise. Love a challenge and you'll be skilled.
Love the moments and they'll propel you forward. Love the truth and you'll understand. Love to make a difference and you'll be admired.
Love to be alive and your life will be full. Love to work and your work will bring true value. Love to play and you'll experience true enjoyment.

If you're going to do it, love it, and see how much better it makes you. No one achieves greatness by doing what they detest. If you're going to be it, if you're going to live it, love it. Think of how exhilarating love can be. Think of how love can motivate you and inspire you like nothing else can.

Tap into that power with every passing moment. It's your life. Love it and make it great.

Ralph Marston

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We had our Toastmasters meeting yesterday. It was one of the best meetings that we ever had. We had a lot of laughter and a lot of fun. I was the Table Topic Master. I love that role better than any other during the meetings. I learned a couple of things about the members that I didn’t know. I got some great tips for writing a twenty minute speech.

Today, I bought food from Whole Foods. I don’t know where they get their fruit from. I have never had a piece of fruit from one of their stores that wasn’t a treat for the mouth. Actually all of the food is really good there. And, the people that work there are very nice and helpful.

When I was looking for venues to have my party, I contacted a particular club. I spoke to the event coordinator over a month ago. Eight weeks ago to be specific. She just sent me a response via e-mail today. You know I am writing a letter to the owners because that is not acceptable.

We are having a Troop Leader meeting with Leaders from all over the city this weekend. I am looking forward to it. It is going to be nice to meet other women that are rowing a similar boat. This is going to be my second year as a Leader. After this year, I am going to give someone else a chance to step up. Besides, I am finding other things that I want to introduce to my daughter to.

She expressed that she wanted to get a big sister. I filled out an application for the Big Brother/Big Sister program. And, we will be interviewed at the end of August. So, I will keep you posted on that. She may be joining the Boys and Girls Club because they have an after school program that is connected with a school in my neighborhood. They seem to have a lot of good things going on for kids.

I know that the summer isn’t over but I am already thinking about September. The highlights for the month of the August are my birthday celebrations and trip to Florida. I am going with two of my friends for a weekend. I am excited and scared because I have not been in a bathing suit since the 80’s. You have read right. I typed the 80’s. I am not exactly Ms. Lovesexy but I don’t look horrible either. So, I will keep you posted on that one too.

This has been a long work week. I am looking forward to the weekend. This is the first Saturday that I’m not having a Weight Watchers meeting. I am going to miss it.

Holler at you later,
Kenya

Quote of the day
"Whatever you want in life, other people are going to want it too. Believe in yourself enough to accept the idea that you have an equal right to it."
Diane Sawyer
TV Personality

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I was sent the following from an old friend that is in the same boat that I am in. We are both over 30 and single. I have not actually spoken to her in years but she always manages to send the right message at the right time. This is for you if you ever feel down about being single.

Stop Giving Me a Hard Time About Being Single
By Karen Salmansohn

If you're single, chances are you've been asked the following three questions:

Why aren't you married?
Why aren't you married?
and the very, very popular:
Why aren't you married?
... give or take another 999,999,997 more such questions.

Unfortunately, I can't fix you up with any cute guys or girls to help you avoid these questions in the future. However, I can fix you up with some good snappy comebacks to fling at anyone who dares to question your single status.

So, next time somebody dares to ask you that "Why aren't you married?" question, pause, smile sagaciously (I love that word; it means "wisely"), and offer up one of the following. Or, just review them for your own personal satisfaction.

1. In the beginning, there were no elliptical trainers or low-fat/high-fiber muffins, and so people lived to only about 40-something. Maximum. Meaning, the pressure was on to get married before age 25. However, today, thanks to medical advances, we can all hope to live to 80. Easy. Meaning? Even if we marry at age 40, that's still 35, 45, even 55 years to be with a mate. Plenty of time to be married. What's the hurry?

2. Married people are not necessarily better catches simply because they were caught. I mean, have you taken a look at some of the married people out there? Seriously. Even Frankenstein got married. Obviously married people are not superior people.

3. Meanwhile, look at some of our cool single role models:
Catwoman: Single.
Buddha: Single.
The Lone Ranger: Single.
Actually, virtually all superhero types are single: Superman, Wonder Woman, Dudley Do-Right. And then there's The Ultimate Superhero: God’s also single.

4. Plus, when you think about it, there's no such thing as a Stepford Single Woman.

5. Why limit myself to being dissatisfied by one relationship when I can be dissatisfied by an infinite variety?

6. It's interesting how our culture has the expression "happily married," but no expression "happily single." And those words are 100% certified by the US Census Bureau. Statistics show that although married men are reported to be happier than single men (surprise, surprise!)Single women are reported to be happier than married women
(also a big surprise, surprise!). Meaning? This only furthers the irony that single women are branded as "unhappy" and "lonely" and
"loser-esque” when single women are just boldly holding out for the right situation, rather than getting married just to get married.

7. It's easy to become married. Millions of people do it every year.
If you want to pressure me to become something, hey, why not pick something a little more challenging like an astrophysicist.

8. True love is rare. That's why it's called "love" and not "really like" or "settling." And why we don't say: "I'm settling for you, honey" over candlelit dinners. True love is worth waiting for and that's what I'm doing.

Karen Salmansohn is a life coach and the best-selling author of 27 books. Visit her at www.notsalmon.com. Adapted from Even God Is
Single: So Stop Giving Me A Hard Time, copyright 2000 by Karen
Salmansohn. Used by permission of Workman Publishing Co., Inc., New
York. All rights reserved.

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You ever have one of those days that start out kind of shaky. I don’t know what was going on with my stomach. I went somewhere and couldn’t get into the building. I came home pretty much passed out for the remainder of the morning. I woke up in enough time to brush my teeth and grab a t-shirt to throw on. I had intended to leave the house at 12. It was 1 o’clock by the time I got into my car. I was planning on going to see Terry McMillan.

I got lost getting to the library. So, a fifteen minute drive took 30 minutes. This weekend they are having Artscape, an annual arts festival. There are people everywhere and it’s hard to find parking. I eventually got on track. While looking for parking I had to drive pass the Library. There was a line wrapped around the building. By the time I parked and walked up to the building it was 1:45. As I was about to walk to the end of the line, a lady told her friend that all the people that made reservations were able to walk right in. I was too happy to hear that. I turned right around and walked in front of the line and into the building. I was assigned a seat on the third floor. I went up there to get a seat. It was a room with a screen set up. I wasn’t even going to be in the room with her. I was a little disappointed. They announced that they were selling books on the first floor. After asking someone to save my seat, I went to purchase my book downstairs. While down there I noticed that there were plenty of empty seats. So, I slid into one close to the front. I’m glad that I did. I have seen her on television but it is nothing like seeing her in person.

Ms. McMillan was wonderful. She has a wonderful personality. Her answers come from a real place. I am a big fan of hers because she could be my aunt, sister or cousin. I am so glad that I had an opportunity to go today. If you ever get an opportunity to go to one of her readings please do it. It is a real treat. She also signed my book. It was a real treat.

In the immortal words of Ms. McMillan, “You may be scared. Do that shit anyway!”

Have a good one. I’ll holler at a player later.

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Today I went to see Hustle and Flow. I am the kind of person that has to see a film during the opening weekend. Otherwise, I will catch it on cable or DVD. This was one of those movies that I wanted to see because I liked everyone in the cast. But, I didn’t want to see it because I’m not into that whole Pimp and Ho thing.

I still don’t know if I liked it or not. I would like to talk to other people that have seen the movie in order to draw a real conclusion. Here a few tidbits that I have gotten from the movie:

In a relationship you have to be supportive of your mate’s dreams. Sometimes you won’t be happy with their decisions. Communication still needs to be open the two of you.

Sometimes you need to point a person in a different direction in order to get them off the wrong tracks and unto the right ones.

There comes a point in your life when you can’t settle anymore.

If you are looking for a leader for your life, you’ll find one. If you don’t know where you want to be led they’ll take you wherever they want you to go. It will most likely be somewhere you don’t want to be.

Some people don’t realize their worth. They need to do something that they are proud of in order to feel their potential.

Things may not happen the way that we think they will but that doesn’t mean they are not going to happen.

When you are ready for an opportunity, the door will appear. As you step through the doorway be ready to focus and work hard. This is your chance to make it happen.

And, last but not least, in the immortal words of Skinny Black, “Everybody has a dream.”

I guess I did like it. If you get a chance check it out. Let me know what you think.

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Of course you have to go out on a limb sometimes, that's where the
fruit is. When you've achieved success, keep going. The worst thing you can do with an accomplishment is to let it stop you. When you've experienced failure, keep going. You've learned what doesn't work and that is a valuable part of discovering what does work. When you feel discouraged and disappointed, keep going. Your persistent efforts and your actions will greatly boost your confidence. When you feel like you're on top of the world, keep going.

Make use of what you've achieved to create even more value for your world.
When you can't decide what to do, pick one of the alternatives and keep going. By taking action, you'll know soon enough whether or not you're headed in the right direction.

Everyday life is injected with a fresh dose of wonder and opportunity.
The way to experience the best of it is to face confidently ahead and keep going.

author unknown

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Have you ever wanted shelter
Something to hold you up when you’re weary?
A comforting cooling ominous force to keep you company?
I tried to find someone to do this for me
I should’ve found a tree

I wanted security, a positive presence in my life
Words don’t have to transpire between us
I’d like to just sit and admire the grass
Read a book in the cooling shade
I tried to find someone to do this with me
I should’ve found a tree

The leaves float in the air over me like an angel
The limbs are its God guiding its purpose
The trunk a forever root that represents stability
The tree, itself, a friend that never says anything
or asks questions
It’s there for you
That is until someone comes along the forest of life
and cut down all the trees in your life

Then you start to look to an individual
who won’t or can’t be a tree
Most likely because you wouldn’t be either.

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“Make it happen.” is a phrase that I hear so much that even I have started to use it. We all know that making something happen is easier said than done. If you are like me and want to make things happen but needs a little assistance than these tips are for you:

1. Write it down and review it daily.
As you know, I am a self proclaimed pessimist but some things can’t be denied. I have witnessed the power of writing things down. The power is not in the putting the pen to paper. The power is in reviewing what you wrote. Every time you review your goals it is like refocusing your mind. I had a friend that planned a wedding without a fiancé. Before the year was over she was not only married but she had her dream wedding.

2. Break it down into steps.
Anything can seem overwhelming or out of reach at first. How many times have you heard that there is no such thing as an overnight success? Everything takes planning. Find out what it takes to make your goal happen. Break down the steps into manageable pieces. When you try this step, be realistic. You know what you will and will not do. Make sure that your steps are small enough that you will actually do them.

3. Make appointments with yourself.
Make appointments with yourself to work on your goal. I write three set days a week regardless of what is going on. A lot of times I will write more than three days a week. Regardless of what is going on I never miss my appointments with myself. Once a month I have a Check Point day. On that day I go over my progress from the previous month. Setting appointments with yourself will help you to become more discipline. You can build up to doing a little daily.

4. Get a buddy.
Find a friend that will hold you accountable for your actions. To make it fair chose a friend that is pursuing a goal. You can meet each other once a week on Check Point day to go over each others progress and discuss plans for the upcoming week.

5. Reflect and reward progress.
Even if your plan is not going exactly as you thought it would you should celebrate the progress that you have made. About once a month reflect on what you have learned. Pat yourself on the back. If you can’t give yourself some praise than how do you expect others to. Or, if you did not make as much progress as you could have, use the dangling carrot method. Think of something that you really want, set a mini goal that can be achieved in a month. Put a picture of what you want next to your written goal so you can look at them both daily. At the end of the month reward yourself with the object, only if you have reached the goal.

6. Keep it moving.
Take what you have learned and fine tune your plan. Continue to work towards your goal. Keep working and you will make it happen.

Quote for the day
"It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can do only a little. Do what you can."
Sydney Smith
1771-1845, Writer and Clergyman

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Have you ever wanted to be or do something
That seemed possible but impossible
Like a dream

To catch a dream for instance
Some chase it their entire natural born days
and don’t catch it
Others catch it and are too disappointed to do anything with it
What about those who can’t handle it
A dream can be a powerful thing when turned into reality
Your natural born days can become just born days
What was isn’t anymore and somehow you don’t care

What about a facade
You’re trying to live?
Not in touch with the real you but whom you want to be
Or, what you think you want to do
Probably something you think will give your dream
zest or a new fresh breathe
It won’t though
Is a dream spectacular because it is possible
and impossible at the same time
Does the glitz and glitter fade away when you
can hold it in your hand and really examine it up close
*********

That is one of my favorite poems. It is not because I wrote it. It's because I am a dreamer and a pessimist at the same time. That is not easy. Hope you enjoyed the poem. Have a great week.

Kenya

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There are certain articles that I won’t read. I will fade out of conversations when I realize that it is taking a turn towards one of my zones. I am coming to a place in my life where I am avoiding people and activities that feed my fears. It’s easy for it to happen. So, what ever I am working on at the time, I stay on a look out for anything that derails my progress.

One of my biggest fears is that no one would show up for my signings. I have never had a dinner party. Actually, I have never hosted anything because of that fear. I planned on having a big 30th birthday party. It never happened. I told people that I wanted to wait until I was 40 because my daughter would be older. That is a lame excuse but no ever challenged it. I was scarred.

This year I am facing that fear. I’m hosting a happy hour and a party for my birthday. I procrastinated on sending the invitations. But, the e-vites have been sent and now I have to prepare for the big days. So far, I’ve been getting positive responses. At this point whatever is supposed to happen will happen. If they are a success than this could be the beginning of something good for me.

By the way, I didn’t have an opportunity to give the speech.

Quote of the Day
The will to conquer is the first condition of victory.
– Ferdinand Foch, 1851-1929, French Soldier

Enjoy your day

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Today has been a good day. My plans for celebrating my birthday are coming together. I am giving a speech tomorrow that I have not written yet. I got the latest and greatest issue of Essence in the mail. So, I have new reading material for my ride to work. Hopefully, I will get some ideas for my speech. I think I am going to sleep on the speech and write it first thing in the morning.

As far as my writing, I am reviewing some poems that I would like to publish as an e-book. I intend on putting together a few poems to give away in order to peak interest in my writing. If things work than people will purchase my e-book and I will get exposure. If it doesn’t work than at least I will get people to read my work. And, I will still get exposure.

I am at a place in my novel where I am expanding on what I already have. I am in the market for a critique group. I am going to keep writing until I find one. If I don’t find a critique group to join than I will continue expanding to the best of my ability and find an editor. It is getting a little late and I am tired.

This is a sidebar: Have you been watching "Rock Star INXS"? If the people on “Rock Star INXS” were on “American Idol” than I would have watched “American Idol” more consistently. All of the contestants have strong voices. At this point I can’t tell who the winner is going to be. And, lastly about all of them have personalities. I hope the losers at least get offered record deals. Or, form a group or something…..they deserve it if they keep their performances consistent through the competition.

My quote for today is:
You can't have a better tomorrow if you are thinking about yesterday all the time.
– Charles F. Kettering, 1876-1958, American Engineer and Inventor

Good night. Or, good day depending on when you read this.

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At this point in my life I am working from two lists. The first list is of things that I want to do/have/be. The second list is of things that I have accomplished. Guess which list is longer? Well, I am waiting. Which list do you think it is? Ding! Ding! You have guessed correctly, list number one. I am approaching another birthday. I am not in a bad place. I am actually in the same place that I was this time last year. I am not where I thought I would be. I have been on the sidelines of life for a while. I have been sitting on the bench so long that my uniform is a little faded from the sunlight. I am making small steps towards making the second list longer. I joined Toastmasters. I am great with talking to people on a one on one basis. But in a group setting I tend to fade into the background. So, I am working on that. I am trying to exercise regularly and make better food choices. I am still working on the eating right part but I am making progress. I am losing weight but not enough for other people to notice yet. I have started doing writing prompts, in order to write every day. Since I was a child one of my goals has been to be a successful published author. I am in my 30's and it hasn’t happen. I have read books, been to two classes (one seminar and one on the web) to learn about publishing and self-publishing. I am scared. I have a lot of ideas. I have a lot of interesting characters but I am scarred. I am going to face my fear. And, I am going to document my journey here, as well as post some of my writing prompts. I have always had a problem with keeping commitments to myself. For some strange reason, I can get things done when I think someone else will hold me accountable. So, I am making myself accountable to anyone that would like to read about my experience. I am armed with this blog, a writer’s market online subscription and my work. Put on some comfortable shoes because we are about to go for a long walk.

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