We have all heard the saying, “You may have to kiss a few toads before you find your prince.” If you think that is a true statement. Here are a few more theories that you can appreciate:

1. Some toads will never turn into a prince regardless of how much you kiss them.
Every person comes to a point in there lives when they are the person that they are going to be. Some surface things may change but their core is not. Your frog may be just that, a frog. And, if he is you have a decision to make. Are you going to love him for whom he is? Or, are you going to kiss other frogs hoping that the next one will magically transform himself?

2. The toad that you are kissing could be someone else’s Prince that is why he is not transforming.
Have you ever been in a relationship with someone that had all the ingredients that should have added up to a perfect mate? I mean you looked at your list twice and it definitely had two checks next to everything that you always wanted but you two are not clicking. You go your separate ways and he marries the next queen in training. You can’t believe it. Before you go into the “Why not me?” mode, remember that he is not for you. There is a pot for every lid and he is not your lid. It is okay to let toads go because you are still a princess and your prince is on his way.

3. Sometimes it takes more than a few kisses for a toad to transform into a prince.
This one goes hand in hand with teaching someone how to treat you. Some frogs never become a prince because in the beginning of a relationship you let them treat you like you’re an unworthy peasant girl that would do anything for him to rescue you from whatever is going on in your life. You’re a princess, which means you are a queen in training. Honestly, you may already be a Queen that wants a mate. So, don’t love someone more than you like yourself. Don’t allow anyone to think that their behavior is acceptable when it is not. Always remember that you are a princess. And, you should be treated that way.

4. Sometimes a Prince is really a toad in disguise.
Let’s be real. Some people look great on paper. And, their presentation is magnificent. You look at them and think to yourself, Damn I am lucky. After you two spend some alone time, you start to feel like, Lord, what did I do to deserve this? I don’t mean that in a good way either. Since they seem so wonderful on the outside looking in, you don’t want to let them go. People will think that you are crazy for breaking it off with this person. Let them think it and even say it because you are the one that has to deal with the fake-me-out prince, not them. If you can attract and be in a relationship with someone that fabulous once than it can happen again. You are a prize. Whomever you choose is the lucky one not the other way around.

5. It doesn’t matter how many toads you kiss, if you are not ready, than your Prince will not come.
This is a hard pill to swallow, but we always get what we deep down inside think that we deserve. Take a minute to think about that. You know that it is true. If you have issues that need to be ironed out; set up the board, plug up the iron and get the wrinkles out. If you want the best for yourself, you have to expect the best and know that you deserve it. You have to be the kind of person that you want to be in a relationship with. We are all works in progress. Progress in our lives should be about improving and growing. When you are happy with yourself, content with life and not looking for someone else to make those things happen your Prince will come.

Quote for the day:
"Plenty of people miss their share of happiness, not because they never found it, but because they didn't stop to enjoy it."- William Feather, 1889-1981, Writer


K.M. Abney has been a featured writer on the web. She is a member of the Black Writers Guild and Toastmasters. She loves feedback and can be contacted at kenmoab1@verizon.net.

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People are interesting
Some do things the right way
Or, at least give that impression
Some are clueless
And do there best to stay that way
Others like to make tracks in fresh fallen snow
Not to be a pioneer or trendsetter
They just want to piss someone off
Anybody
It doesn’t matter

I often wonder if they, people that is, feel undone
Feeling undone is very strange
Something is nagging at you
Don’t know what it is
Wouldn’t recognize it if walked pass you on the street

A dangling thread
Ignored
You don’t catch it
Begins to unravel the fabric of what you think is your existence
Little by little
Than there is a hole
You wonder if you’re there anymore
You’re hanging on a thread
It seems as if you can be repaired
You’ll unravel some more
Before you know it you will feel undone
Although you’re not


K.M. Abney has been a featured writer on the web. She is a member of the Black Writers Guild and Toastmasters. She loves feedback and can be contacted at kenmoab1@verizon.net.

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Hey! How are you doing? I have been in a creative slump lately. So, I decided to use a writing prompt to kick start my imagination. Here is the prompt:

House Painting
Your main character decides to spruce up his or her house by painting each room a different color. Which colors are selected and why?

Here is what I wrote:

For the kitchen the color is peach. Peaches and figs would be drawn on the walls close to the ceiling.

When Lee was a child her grandmother had a peach tree. The end of spring and beginning of summer was always unbearable until the first refreshing rain. It would be the type of rain that would stir the stiff stifling air until it became a cool comforting breeze. The day after the first refreshing summer rain they would gather peaches. Her grandma would can them; make pies and put the prettiest ones on display for anyone that happens to stop by. Lee would always snack on figs to avoid eating all the peaches. When Lee would have a particularly hard day she would make a peach pie with figs in it to remind her of the woman that her grandmother had raised her to be.

The Living Room would be Lilac and white. Mostly because Lee knows that it would piss her mother off. Once her grandmother was sick and Lee had to stay with her mother. In order to make the idea more bearable to Lee her mother promised that she could paint her temporary room any color that she wanted. Lee put great thought into selecting Lilac. True to her nature her mother went against her own words. She refused to paint her guest room such a ridiculous color. She kept saying that she didn’t want to be stuck with a purple room after Lee was gone. Lee didn’t say a word to her mother about it. When she went to visit her grandmother at the hospital, she walked into the room with its white walls and felt her grandmothers’ presence. Lee kneeled beside her and whispered, Grandma, you have to get better. If you don’t, I am afraid that I am going to loose my grandmother and mother during the same month. Her grandmother had a miraculous recovery and was not sick like that until many years later when she died.

The bathroom would be sky blue with clouds and stars painted on the ceiling. Lee had a shameless crush on her best friend’s older cousin, Joseph Bailey. She would practice writing her first name with his last name in cursive when she should have been studying. She even made her best friend call her Mrs. Elizabeth Ann Bailey when no one else was around. Lee knew it was love because she didn’t allow anyone to call her Elizabeth except him. When Elizabeth rolled off of his tongue she couldn’t help but give him her attention. He knew that she had a crush on him. Joseph never let her know that he knew how she felt. Lee was laying in a hammock in her best friend’s back yard waiting for her to come out and play when Joseph suddenly appeared out of nowhere. He steadied himself on the hammock so that they were both laying down o their backs comfortably looking at the sky. He told her that his family was moving away. And, that he would miss her. Her mind had not fully received his words when he twisted unto his side, caressed her face, looked into her eyes and gently pressed his lips against hers. And, first he seemed shy and timid. When Lee didn’t resist he kissed her a second time with more assurance. Before she could say a word, Joseph Bailey uttered that he would miss her and swiftly got up from the hammock. Lee laid there until the clouds became stars thinking about her first kiss. When it seemed like she just couldn’t get a relationship to work she could always take a long bath and stare at the ceiling.

Lee would select red for her bedroom. Lee’s grandmother always wore red when she was happy. She made it a point to will herself into a state of happiness at least twice a week. That was not an easy task. Sometimes she would put a little something extra in her morning tea if she was having a particularly rough week.

Willie was about to retire and settle into the life style of a senior member of our society, when her daughter, Cynthia, found a husband that had room in his life for one and not the two that she actually was. Willie took Lee off of Cynthia’s hands without a fuss. She hoped that Cynthia had finally found the happiness that she was searching for. Cynthia wasn’t the type that could will herself to be happy. And, wearing a specific color did nothing for her. The day Cynthia dropped Lee off for good Willie had on a red dress with a flower in her hair. Willie reminded Lee of an old Billie Holiday poster that she had seen at her best friend’s house. The day that Lee realized her mother preferred life without her, Willie was there dressed in red with her arms open. Willie let her know that it was only in death that she would ever leave her. Lee always took comfort in red. On some days the color red actually made her will herself into a state of happiness.

Quotes of the Day

"A good deal happens in a man's life that he isn't responsible for. Fortunate openings occur; but it is safe to remember that such "breaks" are occurring all the time, and other things being equal, the advantage goes to the man or woman who is ready."
~ Lawrence Downs

"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature nor do the children of man as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing."
~ Helen Keller, 1880-1968, Blind/Deaf Author and Lecturer

Kenya Abney has been a featured writer on the web. She is a member of the Black Writers Guild and Toastmasters. She loves feedback and can be contacted at kenmoab1@verizon.net.

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I literally feel pain when I hear people report their resistance to daily writing practice.

I know - it sounds extreme - and it is also true.

I feel pain because I know how much better off I have been since I have started a writing practice - which for me is based on Julia Cameron's suggestion of writing 3 pages of free flow, stream of consciousness writing every day as early in the morning as I can muster.

For you, free flow writing may be 3 minutes a day. It doesn't matter how much you do - if you do so daily, it will make a difference in your life pure and simple.

I have learned that people generally stop their writing practice because instead of using this time to spiral up their energy with their words, they use it to spiral down their energy with their words. I know I wouldn't write for very long if I felt worse after writing than I did than before I started writing.

This is one of the reasons I came up with these simple strategies you may follow in order to always have a writing practice which aims towards your increase - making life better - rather than taking you into a tank of despair.

None of us do despair well. If you intentionally aim with your writing, when times of despair DO set in, you notice it more quickly and may shift from it with relative ease. In other words, you manage your doldrums, they don't run you.

Does this make sense so far? If it does, great – keep reading. If it sounds like some form of strange, unknown language, please take a deep breath and re-read it.

It really is easy. Simply breathe and continue.

1. Write from Your Gratitude List. Or from someone else's if you are stuck. Check out the, I'm So Grateful Blog for inspiration. http://www.imsograteful.com

2. Write from Affirmations: Look at the books of Catherine Ponder or Louise Hay for examples. Even simple ones like "Everyday in everyway things keep getting better and better and better"

3. Write using inspirational quotes as your prompt. There are lots of websites whose single function is to provide quotes to the world. Here are a few to get you started:
http://www.toinspire.com/, http://www.motivateus.com/, http://www.inspirational-quotes.info/

4. Describe in detail the objects around you according to the different senses: how does that object look, feel, smell, taste, sound?

5. Write a letter to your friend, telling him (or her) the many things you enjoy or like about her. If you find your thoughts slowing, choose a different friend.
Bonus: send the letter to your friend, hand-written with an envelope and stamp.. wow!

6. If you recognize you are going down a negative path, insert this simple phrase" "This is what I have been making up - the truth is.."

Writing freely will open you up like you have never been opened before. You will discover yourself in ways you have only dreamed.

Does it sometimes hurt? Heck yeah.

Will you feel better after you write, taking the Chitter chatter out of your head and onto the page? Heck, yeah...

Is it worth it? Heck, yeah!

Today - just try it and tomorrow and the next day, try it again.

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Julie Jordan Scott faciliates the growth of Creative Souls through Writing, Coaching, and Working in the Theatre Arts. Dare to lead a remarkable, passionate life now through one of her writing teleclasses or ecourses. Visit her website now: http://www.5passions.com/writingprograms.html

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It is hard to believe that is almost Monday again. I had a great weekend. I did some cleaning up. I got rid of some crap that I don’t need anymore. I used the “keep”, “give away” and “trash” method. It works believe me. I still have a lot to do but if I am diligent this week, I will be to make significant progress.

I packed my clothes for my trip next weekend. I am really excited. People are still "RSVP"ing for my party. I got a few, "I thought that I would be able to make it but I am not going to now." calls. But, that is fine. I already have my mind set on having a good time.

My daughter has all her school supplies. I went through some of her uniforms today and quit a of them still fit. I am glad about that. She has really grown over the summer. I went to visit her last weekend. The only time I really notice her growth is when other people point it out, or during the summer when she goes away and I don't get to see her for awhile. It is hard to believe that I have an eleven year old.

This weekend I went to see, Four Brothers. From what I read today, I am not the only person that checked it out. First and foremost, it has a banging soundtrack. If you like old school R&B than you will really enjoy the soundtrack.

Initially, I wasn’t really gung ho about going to see this movie. I like Tyresse and Mark Walburg as actors. I was curious to see how Andre 3000 would do. So, why not spend a hot summer afternoon in an air conditioned theatre watching Four Brothers? I was pleasantly surprised. There were several unpredictable plot twists and turns. The villain, Victor Sweet, played by Chiwetel Ejiofor, is the new Nino Brown. He is cold, ruthless and everything you want in a character that you love to hate. All the characters in the movie were easy to connect with. I gave Mr. Ejiofor a shout out because somebody needs to recognize him. Why not me?

I enjoyed this movie so much that I would pay to see it again. It is going to be a visual treat to see on the small screen but some of the effects have to be viewed on the big screen. So, save the bootleg copy for another time and go to the theatre. You won't be disappointed.

I don’t have a quote for you today. But, I read the following and I became motivated to do something. So, here it is for you:
Putting off until tomorrow what you need to do right now will just cause a big headache in perpetuity. So take a deep breath and dive into the tasks at hand before they get out of hand.

Holler at a Player Later,
Kenya


K. M. Abney has been a featured writer on the web. She is a member of the Black Writers Guild and Toastmasters. She loves feedback and can be contacted at kenmoab1@verizon.net.

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Goals stalled? Always running behind? Stuck in a rut?

Procrastination means “putting it off”. Whether it’s a career
goal, a home project, or something about your daily life, a
sustained plateau on a goal can rattle your motivation, challenge
your thinking. And that can eventually mean that you’re putting
off your LIFE, not just a task.

The key is to push through these plateaus to see the finish line.
Take a good look, reassess your strategy, ask some questions,
make some changes. Not dealing with it, won’t make it go away.
Stop putting off your life!

What can I do when I find it hard to just get started?
The hardest thing about everyday tasks is getting started on
them. It's kind of like pushing a stalled car -- once you get
going, everything rolls right along. You can beat
procrastination in daily life tasks by setting up systems that
help you. Set a time to pay bills (Wed mornings, for example).
Then you do it and forget it. Most people don’t decide “not to”
do something -- they just don’t every consciously decide TO do
it. Decide. Put life on your schedule.

What can I do when I don’t feel qualified to perform the task?
Being afraid that you will fail at something is a sure-fire way
to get you to stop before you've started. You can beat
procrastination by being honest with yourself about your level of
training in that particular task. Don't complain or delay.
Simply request help from someone qualified who can help you
learn.

What can I do when I’m not sure this is something I really want?
I was having trouble finishing painting my kitchen and I couldn’t
figure out why. As I started to really think about it, I
realized that I didn’t really like the color. “Martha Stewart”
said I ought to like it, but I just didn’t. As soon as I
mentally fired Martha and got the color I really wanted, I
finished in no time. You can beat procrastination by telling
the truth about what you really want out of life. Live as the
star of your own life, not as an extra in someone else's.

What can I do when the task seems huge, overwhelming?
Beware of over-exaggeration. While it may seem like it will take
lightening years to complete a job, you can control
procrastination by using a timer to help you see what you can
really accomplish in 30 minutes. I guarantee you’ll be shocked.
Schedule a specific amount of time that you will spend on it each
day, or week -- set the timer. Devote that time to it, and then
return next time. You’ll move forward without exaggeration or
exasperation.

What can I do when there are many things demanding my attention?
When there is too much crammed into 24 hours, often nothing of
real value gets done You can control procrastination by setting
priorities. Do things that are important to you and your life.
Weed out the junk in your life, the same way you pull the weeds
in your garden - just because they volunteered to show up doesn’t
mean you want them there!

Making a task easier often comes with making a choice to adjust
your schedule, re-allocate your money, or choosing how to spend
your energy. We all know that, like mom taught us, we have to
get our work done before we can go out and “play”. Put your work
on a schedule, keep it realistic (you’re only human!), and that
makes play time all the more enjoyable!
=========================
Professional Life Coach Kathy Gates specializes in helping people
who are ready to create a simpler, less stressful, more joyful
and meaningful lifestyle. Visit www.reallifecoach.com for
information, products and services, and sign up for a free
newsletter.

Quote of the Day
Courage is the ladder on which all the other virtues mount.
– Clare Booth Luce, 1903-1987, American Dramatist/Journalist/Politician

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There is a thread of certainty that runs through most lives. It
is sensed as a measured and anticipated rhythm of predictability
built upon our notions of how things have been and how they will
continue to be.

While this is comforting and provides a sense of continuity to
our lives, it is also limiting and not conducive to unleashing
our creative selves. Here are five steps you can take to break
the mold of predictability and expand your horizons in ways you
never imagined.


1. Acknowledge And Release The Past
The mundane concerns of existence that propel us through our
days often leads to a deadening of exhilaration; a striping
away of the possibility for anything out of the ordinary.
Walking in a haze of memories, expectations, assumptions,
guilts, worries -bombardments on our psychological and
emotional centers - we are often oblivious to moments of
complete amazement and wonder. We are wholly unaware and
uninterested in seeing what is already there, but not yet
recognized.

By bringing the preceding moment into this moment, you are
unfairly coloring the outcome of this moment to look the same
as before. Creating true change in your life begins by
acknowledging and releasing the past, whether it be good or
bad.

In fact, see the bad things for what they really are:
revelations of what is truly good. For if life were all rosy
and nothing bad ever happened, how would you know things were
rosy? You would have no reference point; nothing to compare
rosy against.

Release the past and you are free from a linear, pre-ordained
future.


2. Say Thank You
Appreciate your life for what it has been. Give yourself a pat
on the back for everything that brought you to this exact
moment. Congratulate yourself on doing the best you could.

Give thanks to yourself, for the people around you, and to the
source of life that allows you to say, "Here I Am!"

Practice sincere gratitude several times throughout your day.
In this way you are able to stay connected with your creative
energies and recognize abundance in the world.


3. Create Your Day
Imagine yourself awakening each morning to exclaim, "This is
how I shall create my day!" How many people aspire to create
moments that shape the day around them, rather than allowing
the moments of their yesterdays to serve up the ordinary menu
of today?

When you awake each morning, start out by deciding on the
outcome of the day. We have been taught from an early age that
the outside world determines our actions and our state of mind.
This is not true. You have freewill. Use it.

Decide for yourself how you will feel and what you will
accomplish. Do you want to be happy that day? Do you want to
begin writing a operatic ballad? It doesn't matter what it is.
Just declare it. Simple as that.

If you don't know what to declare on a given day, always start
with happiness. Affirm your decision to be happy. Remember that
happiness is a state of being, not a reaction. Don't allow
outside events determine whether you will be happy. Create the
commandment in your mind and you will find that happiness
exists in the strangest of places.

Fully expressing your creative self takes practice, especially
if you are in the habit of reacting to the moments of your day.
You are rewiring the neural connections in your brain. You are
breaking old connections. With practice, creativity becomes a
habit.


4. Expect The Unexpected
Consider the clarity and simple freedom that comes from being
unattached to the unfolding of a moment in your life. How does
it feel to be an observer; an inconsequential witness? Most of
us have experienced these special moments to some degree. Can
you recall such moments? Do you remember how it felt to be
completely in the world, but not an immediate player within it?
Simply watching. Uninterested. Non-judgmental.

At these times it is not unlike staring without prejudice into
a fish tank. It makes no difference in what direction the fish
swim. It matters not the size of the bubbles percolating from
the bottom. It's of no concern the manner in which the water
ripples on the surface.

If the moments of your life were observed in such a manner, you
could then decide the meaning of circumstances in your life with
fresh eyes. Moments would exist within the space of a moment.
The meaning of the next moment could then be nothing, or
anything. There are literally no limits.

Therefore, aspire to be an unattached observer each day. This
doesn't mean you can't feel things. By all means, feel things
with passion. Yet, be the observer of your passion. Be in your
emotions, but not swept away by them. Watch your reactions, say
hello to how you feel, and watchfully move on under the creative
mandates you set for yourself at the beginning of the day.

What happens when you let go and be the observer? The
unexpected happens. The clarity of purpose you defined at the
beginning of the day is ever-present around you. Now you are
free to notice, from among the thousands of pieces of
information entering your brain each moment, the meaning of
things which encapsulate your purpose.


5. Believe
What if the meaning of your moments was like the first flush of
rapture found in the eyes of a new-found lover? Can you imagine
such wonder and amazement, such endless depth, in the moments
of your day?

When moments are free of preconceptions that have been brought
forward, then the possibility of infinite futures take form.
These are the times when you can indulge the ending of your
story however you choose.

What is the ending? It is no more or less than the extent of
your belief in what is possible. It is the ending that holds
meaning for you; void of conjecture that your environment might
not relinquish the prize of your choice.

It is an illusion to think that the environment around you
exists without you. The environment exists because of you. You
are the master. The stimuli that enters your brain through your
senses is timeless, formless, and meaningless. You bring to your
environment the meaning of your choice.

Your environment is like sand on a beach, smooth and
undisturbed until your footprints change its landscape. A few
come to build castles in the sand, while most simply wonder the
water's edge while their footprints wash back into the sea.

The universe listens to those who ask. And of those who ask, it
is those who expect to be answered who will receive. Do not say
you want the thing you desire. For the universe will deem your
request already answered. To want is not to have. Do not say
you will have it. That is the same as wanting.

Instead, have the thing you desire. Make up your mind it is
already yours. Believe it is so because it is so. There is no
elaborate, complex formula. It is as simple as breathing.

Now watch. Your desire has been granted. The universe has
delivered it. With your new, unfiltered, of-the-moment vision,
your steps lead right to it.

Putting it all together, here are the steps to fully expressing
your creative nature:

1. Acknowledge the past and release it from this moment.
2. Give thanks to yourself, all things, and all persons.
3. Create your day on purpose. Decide and resolve.
4. Be watchful and expect the unexpected.
5. Believe.

Do you know the most wonderful thing about creating your life
on purpose?

You are in fact changing the world in no less significance than
the achievements of the greatest teachers through all the ages.

For when the masses transform the beaches into glistening and
interweaved towers of sand then the world will change in
indescribable ways. The unknown becomes infinite. Chaos becomes
opportunity. Improbability becomes possibility. Certainty
becomes purpose. Creativity becomes boundless.


About The Author: Brett Krkosska is a freelance writer and
syndicated columnist. Visit his site, http://GodUnplugged.com
for perspectives and commentary on the issues of life

Quotes of the Day
“The ultimate of being successful is the luxury of giving yourself the time to do what you want to do.”
-Leontyne Price, American Opera Singer

"You can't get swept off your feet if you are sitting down. Stand up and be noticed!"-Claire Camden, Single Woman Standing Up, Motivational and Customer Service Consultant

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"Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them. You will find that they haven't half the strength you think they have."
-Norman Vincent Peale

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see which has opened for us."
-Helen Keller

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Yesterday, I was reviewing my “to do” list for year 31. I only accomplished two things on the list. So, I am carrying over unrealized dreams and wishes into another year. If I said that I am not a little disappointed in myself, than I would be a liar. I also thought about why I let “whatever that has been happening” get between me and my list.

1. Didn’t review the list daily. Out of sight, not on my mind. I only seriously think about my list when I look at it. So, I have taped a copy to the bathroom mirror so I have to look at it and think about it.

2. Took passive steps towards my goals. Over the last year, I have taken classes, attended seminars, gave a few speeches at Toastmaster’s meetings, planned and started a website, read books, etc. On the surface that sounds like I am doing something. But that isn’t really anything if I haven’t completed my goal. I believe in taking baby steps but you eventually have to make tracks to make progress.

3. Got caught up in making something perfect. Especially with my writing, I will rewrite and reread. And rewrite and reread, until I am tired of it. I will than put it away until I feel like falling into that same cycle. Striving for perfection has driven me to procrastination.

4. Gave in to my fear. I will not submit an idea because I am scarred. I will go through the process of finding markets to submit work. Write the query letter. And, I won’t mail it because I am convinced that no one wants to read it anyway. Or, it is not good enough.

A couple of weeks ago, I was talking to friend about someone else’s underdog/It’s a miracle/you better be a believer story. She did something that no one else has ever done in my life. She asked me about my own experience. I can quote chapter and verse of someone else’s story to inspire others but I am leery about applying these things to my own life. I won’t step out to make my own success story. I’m working on it with my revised list.

Quotes of the Day

Nobody who ever gave his best regretted it.
– George Halas, 1895-1983, American Football Player/Coach/Owner

I used to say, “I sure hope things will change.” Then I learned that the only way things are going to change for me is when I change.
– Jim Rohn, American Businessman/Author/Speaker

Holler at a Player Later,
Kenya

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