I like this song. My sister and I were dancing to it. Get up off of that thing. Movement makes you feel good.

Kenya Abney

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motivation

I am a closet motivational speaker, and encourager of all. As a worker bee, I'm pretty good at doing research and passing along helpful information. I wanted to be a guidance counselor at one time. I'm an unofficial therapist to many.

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Another great weekend bites the dust. The weather was perfect. I got to catch up with a great friend. I had great food. Went to great events. Life is truly wonderful and fantastic.

I heard this in somebody's back yard. This used to be the jam. I wonder what Trina and Tamar are doing now? There brother is Jesse Powell. He sang "You". That's a song that I still listen to every now and than. Hope you enjoy this video.


I heard this one riding in the car. Hi-Five used to be my group. All of their songs take me back to a much simpler time in my life. I hope you like it.


This is the jam of the spring/summer. At first, I didn't like it. Now, I turn it up every time I hear it on the radio. Besides my daughter is a huge fan.


I love India.Arie. I like anything that she records.


Make the most of your day,
Kenya Abney

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I grew up on Breyers ice cream. The old fashion type is still my Dad's favorite. I think that Jane Krakowski is a good actress. If I could post a link for you to watch the webisodes directly, I would. Unfortunately, you have to click on the link. It is fun to watch. New Breyers Webisodes - With Video Enjoy

Kenya Abney

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It is funny. It has great music. Although the movie takes place in 1958 Harlem, you get caught up in the universal themes about stardom, drug use and relationships between family members. I was a kid the first time that I watched it. I still pull out the DVD every now and than to watch it.

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I think that she has merit to what she says. I was raised in a household where my Dad was the head. He had the final say. Sometimes he entertained comments, most of the time he didn't. His word was law. My Mom worked outside of the home. Her family was her top priority. She was nurturing, encouraging and about her family. I know that neither role was always easy to be in. As a child, it was good to know that I had a protecter and provider in the house.


Make the most of your day,
Kenya Abney

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I like transitioning from one thing to another. When I get home, on a good day, I put on exercise clothes and bust a sweat while following a tape/cd. Than I take a shower to wash off the day. Here is the best part, I put on my lounge wear. Lounge wear is anything that makes you feel comfy cozy. On a hard day, I will put on pajamas. On a good day, I'll put on fuzy slippers, leggings/sweat pants and a t-shirt. In the summer, a nice pair of shorts and a tank top. In the winter, I have a warm hoody. It is ratty and old, I should get rid of it. That is not going to happen. Sometimes on a Saturday, when I know that I'm not going any where, I'll put on some lounge wear and enjoy the day. I recommend it to everyone.

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Lifetime Television Picks Up Sherri Shepherd Comedy

I'm a fan of Sherry Shepherd. I definitely plan on watching the show when it airs. I hope it is a great success.

Make the most of your day,
Kenya Abney

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I was going through my e-mails yesterday. A friend sent this to me a couple of days before shw became a bride. I thought it would be a good post. So, here it is:

FINDING AND KEEPING A LIFE PARTNER
Golden rules for finding your life partner by Doc. Heller, M.A.

When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake.

Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%,it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr./Miss. Right!

If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love"; I believe this is the #1 mistake people make when they date.

Choosing a life partner should never be based on love.

Though this may sound "not politically correct", there's a profound truth here. Love is not the basis for getting married.

Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: "You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone"; you need a lot more!!!

Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.

QUESTION #1: Do we share a common life purpose?

Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together?

You need to share something deeper and more meaningful.

You need a common life purpose. Two things can happen in a marriage:
(1) You can grow together, or (2) you can grow apart. 50% of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life!

Bottom line; and marry someone who wants the same thing.

QUESTION #2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?

This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship.

Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust - I.e. Trust that I won't get "punished"; or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings.
Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

QUESTION #3: Is he/she a mensch?

A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves?

A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right thing"; so ask about your significant other what do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic?

Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement. There are essentially two types of people in the world: (1) People who are dedicated to personal growth and (2) people who are dedicated to seeking comfort. Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.

QUESTION #4: How does he/she treat other people?

The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure. Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed?

To measure this, think about the following:
* How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc.?
* How do they treat their parents and siblings?
* Do they have gratitude and appreciation? If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything; can you do nearly as much for them? You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly will eventually treat you poorly as well.

QUESTION #5:Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?

Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve"; them after they're married.

As a colleague of mine puts it: "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the worse" if you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them..

In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating; to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues.

Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didn't do your homework.

Another perspective. ... There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance.... (Some of y’all may need to read that again)

It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going anywhere relationships.

Observe the relationships around you. (This statement feeds into my thoughts on "Do Not Make Someone a Priority In Your Life, When All You Are Is Just An Option For Them")

Pay attention...Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know, or appreciate you?

The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you ... the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.

An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye"; Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, pity, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really that important.

* Do you bring out the best in each other?
* Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control?
* What do you bring to the relationship?
* Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?
* You can't take someone to the altar to alter them.
* You can't make someone love you or make someone stay.
* If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life"; you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Seeking status, sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.

WHAT KEEPS A RELATIONSHIP STRONG ARE:
1. TRUST
2. COMMUNICATION
3. INTIMACY
4. A SENSE OF HUMOR
5. SHARING TASKS
6. SOME GETAWAY TIME WITHOUT BUSINESS OR CHILDREN
7. DAILY EXCHANGES (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes)
8. SHARING COMMON GOALS AND INTERESTS
9. GIVING EACH OTHER SPACE TO GROW WITHOUT FEELING INSECURE
10.GIVING EACH OTHER A SENSE OF BELONGING AND ASSURANCES OF COMMITMENT

If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment withdrawal, abuse, neglect, and dishonesty; and pain will replace it.

Happiness keeps You Sweet,
Trials keep You Strong,
Sorrows keep You Human,
Failures keep You Humble,
Success keeps You Glowing,
But ......... Only God keeps You Going!
"In search for me, I discovered truth.

In search for truth, I discovered love and in search for love, I discovered God.
In God, I have found everything."

"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goals...."

Authors Unknown


Make the most of your day,
Kenya Abney

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You can't miss what you never had. When it comes to love relationships that aren't anymore, depending on your mood, you can romanticize it to be better than it actually was. Also, a lot of people chase a feeling. Some folks stay in a relationship trying to get a certain feeling back. Other people cheat because they want the feeling of meeting someone new. The whole time, they know that the person at home is the best for them.



The thing about love and feelings are that, they change sometimes. Some times, they feel great and overwhelming. Other times, they feel like they are hiding from you and they're no where to be found. At times, it feels like it is better to not get on that roller coaster ride.

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Make the most of your day,
Kenya Abney

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I love music. When I'm in the car, I like to radio surf. My daughter hates it. She gets over it.



I have a few songs that I like to listen to when I am down. Or, when I'm feeling good and want to keep the momentum going.

Golden by Jill Scott

Every day that you wake up, you should be living your life because it is golden. Sometimes, I need to be reminded.

Strength, Courage & Wisdom by India Arie

This song is a real mental vitamin when I feel doubt in my abilities. It propels me forward.

Closer by Goapele

The beat is awesome. The way that her voice intertwines with the music makes you feel like you are really moving closer. It is like she has captured the emotions of working towards being your greatest self.

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Since twittering, I’ve come to a couple of conclusions:

1. I don’t want to share my thoughts with others as much as I thought that I did. I am always thinking about something. I have a large frame of reference. I read a lot. I have opinions about everything. I even type up something’s but never post them.
2. I waste time doing busy stuff that feels like I am doing something. I check e-mail. I wrote out a blogging schedule. I read about making money at home. I do everything that needs to be done except take action. It feels like I am making progress because I’m taking small steps but stopping short at the most significant point.
3. Other people are really getting their life on. I mean really. Whether they are running a business, selling on ebay or loving the job they have. People are really enjoying the lives that they have created. Those that don’t like their lives are changing it.
4. I think a lot about work, people at work, my family, my friends. People I see on tv. Everything and everybody to keep my mind off of what I am not doing. What I should be doing.
5. In a way, I am comfortable being stuck because I know what that is about. I am content in my unhappy feelings because I’m familiar with them

This is the beginning of a new month. I am starting a new exercise program. Drinking more water. I’m acknowledging when I feel a certain way about things. Before I would suck up my feelings and live through what ever I am going through until something less unsettling happens.

Listening to Metromom Online Success Telesummit, which is a step in the right direction. My goals for the month are to start making income using the Internet, create a draft of poetry ebooks and improve my blog.

Make the Most of your day,
Kenya Abney

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