I was going through old papers and came across the following. This is right up my alley because I sometimes over think things. I love to ask questions and figure out why people do the things that they do. If you are like me, in that way, this post is for you. Enjoy!

Reality Check – Questions to screw your head on straight
by Robert F. Sarmiento

Whenever you make yourself feel upset
(e.g. anxious, stressed, worried, depressed, angry, frustrated, embarrassed, insecure, jealous, etc.),

Or you behave in undesirable ways
(e.g. procrastinate, overeat, get high, lie, act impulsively, isolate, perfectionism, etc.),

Or you have physical symptoms of stress or depression
(e.g. headache, stomach ache, diarrhea, tension, hives, lack of energy, difficulty concentrating, sleep problems, etc.):

ASK YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS:
What am I doing to create this situation?
Are my emotions helping me or hurting me?
What am I telling myself?
What are the facts?
Am I exaggerating or distorting?
Are there other explanations?
How likely are my worries?
Whose problem is this anyway?
What is the worst thing that can happen?
Am I awfulizing?
Am I taking this too seriously? Too personally?
Am I downing myself or others?
Am I unrealistically demanding success? Approval? Control? Perfection? Certainty? Comfort? Fairness? My way?
Do I need this or only want it?
Can I stand it?
Am I babying myself?
How can I think more realistically?
Am I stewing rather than doing?
What are my options?
What, if anything, can I do?

Reality Check for Worriers:
Am I playing “what if”?
How probable are my worries?
Am I worrying enough?
Will worrying do any good?
Do I equate worry with caring?
What, if anything, can I do?

Reality Check for Procrastinators:
What emotions do I have about what I am putting off?
What are the advantages of doing it now?
What are the disadvantages of procrastinating?
Am I making excuses?
Am I putting myself down for procrastinating?
Will it kill me to do it for five minutes?
Can I break this task down?
What consequences can I give myself?
Am I doing the worst first?
Am I babying myself?

Reality Check for Parents:
Am I overlooking good behavior?
Are my expectations realistic?
Am I demanding compliance or teaching responsibility?
Is this a battle of wills?
Am I disciplining out of anger or frustration?
Is my child capable of doing this by himself or herself?
Am I separating the doer from the deed?
What are the natural or logical consequences of this misbehavior?
Am I providing appropriate, rewarded alternatives?

Reality Check for Lovers:
Am I buying in to romantic fantasies?
Do I expect love to make me happy?
Am I bassing my self-worth on being loved?
Do I need or only want love?
Are we pushing each other’s buttons?
Am I listening actively?
Am I communicating in my partner’s preferred style?
Are we taking each other for granted?
Am I ignoring what I want?
Are we playing the “who’s right and who’s wrong” game?
As I being aggressive or assertive?
How can we negotiate a “win/win” solution?
What kind of relationship can we create?

Adapted from: Reality Check: Twenty Questions to Screw Your Head on Straight by Dr/ Robert F. Sarmiento, Ph.D. You can visit his website at http://www.cyberpsych.com

Quotes of the Day
Happy the man/woman who early learns the wide chasm that lies between his wishes and his powers.
~ Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

A habit cannot be tossed out the window; it must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time.
– Mark Twain, 1835-1910, American Writer and Humorist

Affirmation of the Week
There is limitless supply and it is mine
I am financially secure
I am surrounded by loving, giving people
I am healthy and wealthy
I allow myself to prosper
I create abundance
I have more than I need in every area of my life

Kenya Abney has been a featured writer on the web. She loves feedback and can be contacted at kenmoab1@verizon.net.

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Today I started my “Growing in Christ” Class. I think that it is going to be a real blessing for me. In case you didn’t know, I finally joined a church, Grace AME . It is a small church with really nice people. If you are ever in Baltimore, you should not hesitate to stop by.

I have always had a relationship with Christ. It has not always been what it should be but it has been great. So, I am looking forward to learning scriptures and exercising my spiritual muscles. They are not as strong as they should be. Speaking of exercising, I am still hanging tough with the Taebo DVD. Eight minutes in the morning. 45 minutes in the evening, three times a week at least. People have told me that I look like I am losing weight. I thought that people were just being nice until I saw a picture of myself from last year. I still have work to do but I am not where I used to be. I am determined to be Ms. Lovesexy by my Vegas trip.

Spring break is officially over. Destiny is returning tomorrow. She had a ball in the NYC. She went to Ellis Island, her favorite park in the world, Central Park and some place else I can’t remember. She met Marissa Jaret Winokur Destiny saw her shooting a scene in Central Park. Destiny was very excited to meet an actress that she has seen on tv before. I on the other hand had an opportunity to hang out with some good friends. Catch a very funny movie, Wedding Crashers. If you have not seen it, than you need to rent it. I saw it this week at a friend’s house. I bought a copy today, it is one of those movies that I know I am going to want to see again.

I got my performance review at work this week. I am pleased. I need to work on having a neater work area. I need to work on being neater all around so I can’t wrinkle my nose at that. There are a lot of positive things that I thought my boss didn’t notice because he didn’t say anything. But, he documented them on my review. Moral of that story: just because someone doesn’t say something doesn’t mean they haven’t noticed.

I am still hanging in there with Mary Kay. Please feel free to shop at my site: www.marykay.com/kabney4 I am having a debut, basically an open house to drum up business and sell the product that I have. I will let you know how that goes next week.

You know that I like to share resources. Check this site out: www.insiderentertainment.com

If you are looking for something to do, want to read a review, or promote your own event, that is the site for you.

Have a great weekend.



Affirmation of the Week
I am prosperity!
My supply is wherever I am.
It comes to me from every direction.
I accept this abundance bounty and opulence today.
I know that it is externalizing itself in my life and affairs.
Wherever I go, I shall meet prosperous people and prosperous conditions.
Whatever I think, I shall think with joy, optimism, happiness, and peace.
Whatever I do, I will do with wisdom, authority, power, and right action.
I separate my thought from any belief in want, in capacity, and in ability.
I disclaim the idea that I am broke, despondent, poor, crushed, defeated, or dependent.
All financial obligations, debts, and pressures are being liquidated.
All unhappy circumstances, conditions, and misunderstandings are being harmonized.
New opportunities and opening to me.
My whole mind, soul, and spirit accept these truths.
I am made rich!

Kenya Abney has been a featured writer on the web. She loves feedback and can be contacted at kenmoab1@verizon.net.

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- by Chris Green
(c) Chris Green - All Rights reserved http://www.conqueringfear.net ============================================
You know the old saying "variety is the spice of life", and although many such phrases are just nonsense, this one is anything but. Because let's be honest, sometimes our lives can become routine. We settle into a comfort zone and boredom and dissatisfaction can soon follow. If you're looking for some exciting ideas to spice up your life, here's my top 5 tips - go on, give them a try!

1. Once a week, visit somewhere you've never been before. A city, town or village, a museum, a theater, a restaurant, café, or bar, a park, a zoo, a wood or forest - get the idea? Visiting new places broadens your horizons and helps to keep life fresh and interesting.

2. The biggest thief that will ever enter your home does so by your invitation. Your television can steal something more valuable from you than any other thief on the planet: Your precious, non-renewable life time. Time to stop this little thief from pilfering any more! At least once a month, spend an entire week without watching any television and use the time to do something much more life-enhancing. You could workout, read books, learn a new subject - languages, cookery, swimming, diving, computers, wine-tasting, crafts, astronomy, astrology, music, advanced driving, drama, take up a new sport - the list is endless. You'll meet people, you'll develop more skills, you'll add to your knowledge and you'll develop more confidence. And you'll feel more alive! Beats sitting indoors watching soaps, the news, repeats and a barrage of commercials doesn't it? I'm sure you've heard people say "I'd love to try something new but I just haven't the time". It's common isn't it? Yet many people are totally unaware of how much television they watch. Let's be conservative and say it's an average 4 hours a day. 4 x 7 = 28 hours. Imagine what you could achieve if you devoted 28 hours a week to doing something far more constructive?

3. Fancy a challenge - something that will test you to the limit? How about a survival weekend? There are many courses available for this, from basic outdoor survival to more specialized ones for arctic, desert and jungle survival. You'll learn more about the environment, you'll develop survival skills and again, you'll meet new people and share a highly rewarding experience. To find courses, use the Internet search engines - "survival weekend", "survival courses" and "learn basic survival" as search terms.

4. Spontaneity can bring excitement and adventure into life. Doing things on the spur of the moment is fun too! So why not just do something totally unplanned? Get in the car and drive somewhere, go to the train station and take a train journey somewhere, or, for a holiday, just visit your travel broker or go direct to the airport and see what deals they've got for you to go there and then. Have your bags packed and ready and don't forget your passport! This brings the unknown into our lives, and although this can be a little bit frightening, it's also very exciting too. Enjoy the adventure!

5. I've saved the best till last! When it comes to living a happy, fulfilled life, a life where you do all things you really want to do, fear is the biggest threat you will have to face. It ruins the hopes and dreams of millions and millions of people. Every time you give in to a fear, you lose. You miss out on opportunity, experience and happiness. So do something you are afraid of. Yes, I know it is very hard to do this but the alternative - giving in - is much more painful. If you're afraid of heights, learn to abseil or climb. If you're afraid of water, learn to swim. Flying - attend a fear of flying course. Frightened of driving? Start to learn. If you want to start a business, devote the time to become fully informed and start your research. Whatever it is, TAKE ACTION to beat it. Fear only exists in one place - YOUR MIND. It is an illusion that will set boundaries on your happiness. The only way to break through these boundaries is to confront fear and overcome it. When you do, your confidence will increase, and you will experience more happiness and my word will you feel alive!

And there you are five great ideas for you to try. Make them work for you by putting them into action and don't forget: Knowledge isn't power, it is putting our knowledge in to action so it works for us is what empowers us!

Until next time.

Author Bio: Chris Green is the author of the new acclaimed book "Conquering Fear", the complete guide to overcoming fear and attracting more success, prosperity and happiness into your life.

Quotes of the Day
Life is not holding a good hand; Life is playing a poor hand well.
- Danish proverb

"Everything existing in the universe is the fruit of chance and necessity."
-Democritus

Affirmation of the Week
I am prosperity!
My supply is wherever I am.
It comes to me from every direction.
I accept this abundance bounty and opulence today.
I know that it is externalizing itself in my life and affairs.
Wherever I go, I shall meet prosperous people and prosperous conditions.
Whatever I think, I shall think with joy, optimism, happiness, and peace.
Whatever I do, I will do with wisdom, authority, power, and right action.
I separate my thought from any belief in want, in capacity, and in ability.
I disclaim the idea that I am broke, despondent, poor, crushed, defeated, or dependent.
All financial obligations, debts, and pressures are being liquidated.
All unhappy circumstances, conditions, and misunderstandings are being harmonized.
New opportunities and opening to me.
My whole mind, soul, and spirit accept these truths.
I am made rich!

Kenya Abney has been a featured writer on the web. She loves feedback and can be contacted at kenmoab1@verizon.net.

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I will let life distract me in a heart beat. I can be focused for weeks. One, maybe two, things will happen and I am sidetracked for months. I am a true believer that things happen when they are supposed to. There are two factors that can discount that statement: (1) Never starting and (2) stopping once you have started. When you aren’t working toward a goal than nothing special or new can come to fruition in your life.

As for never starting: start!! Commit to doing one thing every day. Give yourself 30 minutes a day. Some days you may do more. Others you may do less.
Are you a morning person? Get up 30 minutes earlier than usual.
Afternoon thinker? Do something during your lunch break.
When the sun goes down your brain turns on? Turn off the TV and put on music that doesn’t have words. 30 minutes is not that long and you will be surprised what you can accomplish in a week.

As for stopping: You have already started. That is half the battle. Look back on the progress that you have made. Pat yourself on the back. Recharge yourself by giving yourself a treat for taking some steps. Now review your goal and action plan. Maybe you need to revise them. Something can work for you one day and not the next. Don’t fret. That means you are making progress. Progress means you are closer to reaching your goal or developing an even better one. Once you have reevaluated and recommitted yourself it is time to work.

Your assignment, if you choose to accept it is to: recharge, review, revise, recommit and get to work.

Quotes of the Day
" “Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education alone will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. "
~ Calvin Coolidge, 30th President

""Permanence, perseverance and persistence in spite of all obstacles, discouragements, and impossibilities: It is this, that in all things distinguishes the strong soul from the weak."
~ Thomas Carlyle

Affirmation of the Week
I am prosperity!
My supply is wherever I am.
It comes to me from every direction.
I accept this abundance bounty and opulence today.
I know that it is externalizing itself in my life and affairs.
Wherever I go, I shall meet prosperous people and prosperous conditions.
Whatever I think, I shall think with joy, optimism, happiness, and peace.
Whatever I do, I will do with wisdom, authority, power, and right action.
I separate my thought from any belief in want, in capacity, and in ability.
I disclaim the idea that I am broke, despondent, poor, crushed, defeated, or dependent.
All financial obligations, debts, and pressures are being liquidated.
All unhappy circumstances, conditions, and misunderstandings are being harmonized.
New opportunities and opening to me.
My whole mind, soul, and spirit accept these truths.
I am made rich!

Kenya Abney has been a featured writer on the web. She loves feedback and can be contacted at kenmoab1@verizon.net.

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Are you fortunate in the opportunities that are presented to you? Do you recognize opportunities? I once read that an opportunity usually comes disguised as hard work. That is one of the truest statements ever spoken.

I know someone that didn’t maximize an opportunity because she was looking at the journey and not the end result. She was in a position to sit in for someone and get valuable face time, or at least phone time, with Executives in her company. She didn’t do it because, at the time, she thought it was a waste of her time. Now fast forward several months, she is looking for a job and one of the persons hiring, is someone that she could have potentially built a relationship with if she had sat in for that person. Actually, that is how I got a promotion. I filled in for someone over an extended period of time through good, bad and even ugly times for me. When someone was looking for an assistant, I came to mind because I was fortunate enough to maximize the opportunity. I had made connections with people that did speak on my behalf. Don’t look at the potholes, dips and detours on the road to your destination; focus on your arrival point.


My sister has been presented with an opportunity to be a stylist for a movie. This is something that she always wanted to do. As far back as I can remember she has been dong hair. She is a licensed beautician. She is into make-up so much that she collects tips. And, she consults with make up artists on how to look her best all the time. She can design and make clothes. She even made a blouse to wear for a junior high school picture. With all that experience, she currently works in human resources for a hospital. How did she get presented with an opportunity to be a stylist? Someone had heard about her. She has a reputation as someone that has the skills to be a stylist. She has demonstrated a willingness to work and learn about a field that she isn’t making money…in yet. This is an opportunity that is bundled up with a whole heap of work. If you ask her she is overjoyed for the chance. She will be doing what she wants and finally getting paid for it. Work hard, work diligently because you never know who is watching and waiting to give you a chance.

How do you recognize an opportunity? Contrary to what people think, it doesn’t knock or ring the doorbell. Opportunities are all around us. Some are good opportunities, others are not right for you at the time but they are hard to pass up. Here are four ways to determine if an opportunity is for you:

1. The end result gets you closer to one of your goals.
Closer to a goal is better than never starting. If you want to be a filmmaker being an intern at a production company is closer than just talking about it. Are you going to be Spike Lee when it is all said and done probably not? But, you will be able to make contacts, expand your reputation and obtain skills that you didn’t have before.

2. You can develop a network of people that you can grow a “give and take” relationship with.
“No man is an island.” “You can do anything; you just can’t do it alone.” I know you have heard those phrases before. They are true. There is always a team of people behind any success. And, with a network, you can learn from others and others can learn from you. It is a good thing to know people you can reach out to. And, even better to know that someone wants to reach out to you.

3. You are able to increase your reputation.
Everyone wants to work with someone that they have heard good things about. It doesn’t hurt to be endorsed by several people. In any area of your life, if you want the spotlight than you have to get on stage and perform. People won’t work with you if they don’t know what you can do.

4. You are able to learn and grow skills that can take you to the next level.
Not every opportunity is going to get you exactly where you want to be. Some opportunities put you in a position to get the piece that you are lacking, or a skill that is necessary that you didn’t know you needed. Think about what you can get out of the experience.


Quotes of the Day
"Opportunity... often it comes in the form of misfortune, or temporary defeat."
-Napoleon Hill

"Opportunities? They are all around us... There is power lying latent everywhere waiting for the observant eye to discover it."
-Orison Swett Marden

Affirmation of the Week
I am prosperity!
My supply is wherever I am.
It comes to me from every direction.
I accept this abundance bounty and opulence today.
I know that it is externalizing itself in my life and affairs.
Wherever I go, I shall meet prosperous people and prosperous conditions.
Whatever I think, I shall think with joy, optimism, happiness, and peace.
Whatever I do, I will do with wisdom, authority, power, and right action.
I separate my thought from any belief in want, in capacity, and in ability.
I disclaim the idea that I am broke, despondent, poor, crushed, defeated, or dependent.
All financial obligations, debts, and pressures are being liquidated.
All unhappy circumstances, conditions, and misunderstandings are being harmonized.
New opportunities and opening to me.
My whole mind, soul, and spirit accept these truths.
I am made rich!

Kenya Abney has been a featured writer on the web. She loves feedback and can be contacted at kenmoab1@verizon.net.

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I love to solicit opinions. I call myself an idea person. It is natural for me to come up with an idea and ask for several opinions before I do something. Or, if I have a problem, I like to find out what other people have done when they were faced with a similar situation. Or, what someone thinks that they would do. Usually, people have a lot to say when you ask them their opinion. Some tell you too much.

Mothers are well known for giving unsolicited advice and opinions when no one is asking them. Not my Mother. Even when I would ask her for advice she would tell me, “I can only live one life at a time. Right now I’m having a time living mine. So, don’t look at me to tell you what to do with yours. What do you think you should do?” That is the problem. I didn’t know what to do. I was looking for someone else to give me answers.

Here are a few things to keep in mind, if you are looking for answers from someone else that you need to answer for yourself:

1. You have to live with the consequences of your actions.
Regardless of who came up with the idea, you have to look at yourself for the success and failure of the decision. Can’t blame Momma or your Cousin Lisa, you have to put a “H” on your chest and handle whatever comes your way as a direct result of your decision.

2. Ultimately, no one else knows what is best for you than you.
Most people mean well, but no one knows you or your situation as intimately as you do. Regardless if you share your situation with 10 people, you will tell it 10 different ways depending on who you are talking. And, since you know the situation and you know yourself, who do you think is most qualified to decide what you should do? Ding. Ding. Ding. That is right you. You know what you are willing to live with it. And, what you are not.

3. People will tell you to do things that they wouldn’t do in a million, billion years.
We have all heard it before: “If that were me” or “I would have done ABC instead XYZ”. Give that person the opportunity and they would have done the same thing you did. So, consider the source. Look at the choices that they have made. Would they really do the things that they would tell you? If they would, do they live a productive or destructive life? Would you want to live with their consequences? Proceed with caution.

4. Beware of peoples motives when they give you advice.
Not all advice comes from a good supportive place. Some people look only at their own interest. They don’t really care about what is best, or at least good, for you. They only want your actions to help them. Nine times out of 10 when you examine the situation for yourself you can tell when you are being used. It is not going to feel right. Follow that feeling; it is not leading you down the wrong path.

A good way to make a decision is to:
Pray on it. Give it to Jesus for real. And seek His guidance.
Break out a piece of paper and pen. And ask myself three questions:

1. What is the absolute worst thing that can happen as a result of me doing XYZ? (Really think on this one. Don’t tell yourself the worst that can happen is someone will tell me “no”, when you know that the consequences can be far more dire than that.)

2. What is the absolute best thing that can happen as a result of me doing ABC?

3. Can I handle the worst possible outcome if it happened? Am I willing to deal with sacrifice, ridicule or loss that might be a result of taking this action?


If I can’t live with the worst possible outcome than it is time to get back to the drawing board. Progress sometimes requires discomfort but you know what you can handle. And there is a strong possibility that the situation may have a favorable outcome for you.

Honestly, usually a happy medium between the two outcomes happens for me. I like to think about the best possible outcome of any situation because miracles only happen to people that believe they are in their realm of possibility. So why not contemplate the best happening to you?

Quote of the Day

There is just one life for each of us: our own.
- Euripides, 484-406 B.C., Greek Tragic Dramatist

If you aren't going all the way, why go at all?
- Joe Namath, Hall of Fame American Football Player


Affirmation of the Week
I am prosperity!
My supply is wherever I am.
It comes to me from every direction.
I accept this abundance bounty and opulence today.
I know that it is externalizing itself in my life and affairs.
Wherever I go, I shall meet prosperous people and prosperous conditions.
Whatever I think, I shall think with joy, optimism, happiness, and peace.
Whatever I do, I will do with wisdom, authority, power, and right action.
I separate my thought from any belief in want, in capacity, and in ability.
I disclaim the idea that I am broke, despondent, poor, crushed, defeated, or dependent.
All financial obligations, debts, and pressures are being liquidated.
All unhappy circumstances, conditions, and misunderstandings are being harmonized.
New opportunities and opening to me.
My whole mind, soul, and spirit accept these truths.
I am made rich!

Kenya Abney has been a featured writer on the web. She loves feedback and can be contacted at kenmoab1@verizon.net.

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by Eva Gregory

Do you find yourself wondering why your life is what it is? How is it that some folks seem to get whatever they want, while you seem to be stuck in a rut? Have you been asking how to turn your life around?

Not surprising, one of the things that many successful people have in common is confidence. The confidence to believe that they will achieve the things they set out to, they will get all they feel entitled to, or they will create the things that they desire. They do not allow doubt or negativity to sabotage their plans. Most have become masters at focusing on the positive and refuse to let the "little voice" within feed them negativity for them to buy into. So how have they mastered the power of positive thinking or even more difficult the skill of positive self-talk?

Perhaps you should first LISTEN to the things that you tell yourself on a daily basis. Do you realize how true the saying that "we are our own worse critic" is? Try this, close your eyes and listen to what message YOUR self-talk is delivering. Are you happy with what you are hearing? If not, why not try implementing some of the hints outlined below.

Write down five of the things that you catch your self-talk voice telling you. For each negative thing you write down, change the tone to make it a positive by using "I am," "I will," and "I can" instead. Be sure to make these affirmations positive, believable and realistic for you personally. Now feel what it is like to have it actually be the way you want it to be. Get excited about the possibility. Build on the affirmations that creates a story about how it all unfolds the way you intend for it to often and in time, you will come to believe them. The more you believe the positive, the more success you will have. You will begin to attract it literally!

While evaluating your self-talk voice, did you discover that you spend a great deal of time thinking in "What ifs?" What ifs are typically a big waste of time because you spend valuable time focusing on things that have either already taken place, or may or may not happen. What if (sorry--couldn't resist) I show you how to make What ifs productive? Try this:

Every time you find yourself focused on negative thoughts or a default reaction of "What if....?" Play the "What If-UP Game!" This is a highly successful game that I use with my coaching clients. It goes like this:

Whenever you start thinking..."What If":
• I can't meet payroll?
• I can't pay my bills?
• I can't complete this task?

Flip the thought around to:
What if "IT COULD BE THE WAY I WANT IT!"
• What if I meet payroll in spite of the way things look in the moment?
• What if, money begins to flow to me and I can pay my bills the way that I want?
• What if this task gets completed in perfect timing even if it isn't what I thought it would be?

See how it works? The game is designed to get you thinking about the positive and letting go of the negative. Using the word "could" eliminates self-imposed pressure and opens the door to unlimited possibilities.

The key to positive thought and self-talk is recognizing what you are currently doing, and learning to deliberately change it. Once it is learned it will have a profound impact on the things you would like to accomplish in life. As William Shakespeare once said, "Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so." So, think of this as the first day of the rest of your life, and start thinking powerfully and putting out a positive attitude in each aspect of your life.

Eva Gregory is the author of The Feel Good Guide to Prosperity
All rights reserved. http://www.feelgoodguide.com
© 2006 Leading Edge Coaching

Quotes for the Day
They deem me mad because I will not sell my days for gold; and I deem them mad because they think my days have a price.
- Kahlil Gibran, 1883-1931, Lebanese Poet and Novelist

In order to create there must be a dynamic force, and what force is more potent than love?
- Igor Stravinsky, 1882-1971, Russian-born Musical Composer


Affirmation of the Week
I am prosperity!
My supply is wherever I am.
It comes to me from every direction.
I accept this abundance bounty and opulence today.
I know that it is externalizing itself in my life and affairs.
Wherever I go, I shall meet prosperous people and prosperous conditions.
Whatever I think, I shall think with joy, optimism, happiness, and peace.
Whatever I do, I will do with wisdom, authority, power, and right action.
I separate my thought from any belief in want, in capacity, and in ability.
I disclaim the idea that I am broke, despondent, poor, crushed, defeated, or dependent.
All financial obligations, debts, and pressures are being liquidated.
All unhappy circumstances, conditions, and misunderstandings are being harmonized.
New opportunities and opening to me.
My whole mind, soul, and spirit accept these truths.
I am made rich!

K.M. Abney has been a featured writer on the web. She loves feedback and can be contacted at kenmoab1@verizon.net.

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Have you been thinking about starting your own business? Ever thought about what it takes? We all know that it takes capital. There is one more essential element that you need to have on track. It is your attitude.

According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, 56% of all small businesses fail within their first four years. We don’t want that to be you. So, review your business plan and list of traits that have been compiled by Stephen Covey, and leap into your destiny as a successful small business entrepreneur.

Stephen Covey's Top 10 Key Traits of Successful Small Business Entrepreneurs

1. Value teamwork
Successful entrepreneurs recognize that it takes a team to produce success. They know it is never just one person who is responsible for the success of any business venture. They are gracious, appreciative, humble and give people the credit they deserve.

2. Are willing to change
They understand that change is inevitable, and they understand how to adapt to the changes around them in order to make their business grow.

3. Surround themselves with diversity
Successful entrepreneurs maximize the productivity of their business by hiring people who make their own weaknesses irrelevant. They see other peoples' strengths as opportunities rather than threats.

4. Communicate effectively through feedback and active listening
They give instruction and feedback in a manner that empowers people rather than belittles them. In return, they are willing to listen and accept feedback from others.

5. Have a vision and plan for reaching their goals
Successful entrepreneurs know what they want. They have identified what is most important in order to achieve success and are not willing to sacrifice what is most important for what is merely important. They have created a strategic plan that defines how they will achieve their most important goals and by what deadline.

6. Proactively seek opportunities
Entrepreneurs do not sit and wait for opportunities to come their way. They are proactive and prepared for anything that comes along.

7. Are tireless, ceaseless, determined workers
To avoid becoming workaholics, successful entrepreneurs are highly effective during all of their working hours and know when it is time to go home. They seek balance in all aspects of their lives.

8. Understand that removing barriers is a necessary event
They are not afraid to terminate an employee who is the wrong person for the job, or if they simply resist the changes pertinent to company growth.

9. Are high-energy people
Entrepreneurs reach into the depths of their souls to find the energy they need to keep going and growing. Their energy is enough to motivate and inspire others to join or stay with the new venture.

10. Continually nurture the entrepreneurial spirit by taking risks and learning from mistakes
They willingly take risks and learn from others' as well as their own mistakes. Entrepreneurs make decisions quickly and effectively by avoiding the bureaucracy and structure commonly found in large organizations.

"Those small-business entrepreneurs who are humble and willing to learn from their past mistakes and then apply that learning to their future endeavors will be successful over time. Businesses are not only built on success, but also on what is learned from failure," says Covey.

FranklinCovey offers small businesses training and products to increase productivity and effectiveness and to create sustained superior performance over time. For more information on FranklinCovey training or products for small businesses, visit http://www.franklincovey.com .


Kenya Abney has been a featured writer on the web. She is also a Mary Kay Independent Beauty Consultant. Beauty is only a click a way: http://www.marykay.com/kabney4. Please feel free to shop at her site.

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Someone sent this to me. You know I like to pass on positive messages. Here is a little something to start your week off right:

Today, fall in love with yourself. Let your heart beat faster at the prospect of spending an hour alone with such a fascinating, intricate and complex person. Let your heart fill with love as you think about how precious you are, how lovable, how compassionate and caring you are. Let your eyes sparkle with joy as you consider your sense of humor, that quirky way you have of looking at things.

Ah, how blessed you are to have this lover, always with you, always there. Someone who cares deeply and does everything possible for you. Someone who loves and appreciates you exactly as you are. Someone who requires nothing from you to give love and approval. For you are perfect exactly as you are. You are infinitely lovable, right now.

Fall in love with yourself. Give to yourself everything you have been hoping to get from others. Give lavishly. Shower praise upon yourself. You are so blessed, right now, just as you are. Let yourself feel and know this. Let yourself fall in love unconditionally, right now.

Here is a little prayer for today:

I love myself completely and absolutely. I love everything about myself, exactly as I am.

I give myself permission to be me, glowing with a fire inside, a fire bright enough to light up the world. I give myself permission to shine, to shine forth with all my wonder, letting others see what I know so well, that I am deeply precious and infinitely lovable.

I am acceptance and love. I am joy. I am.


K.M. Abney has been a featured writer on the web. She is also a Mary Kay Independent Beauty Consultant. Please feel free to visit her website at http://www.marykay.com/kabney4

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• Appreciate everyone who shows up on your path
• Believe in yourself at all times
• Create your vision
• Declare what you want and go after it with all your might
• Experience every moment & observe those that are less than pleasant
• Flow with the current; it's a lot more fun than paddling up river
• Go, start, begin - just do it, moving onward and upward
• Help your neighbor and teach others how to fish
• Inspire children by being the example - life by demonstration
• Just be in the moment, accept, allow, forgive and be grateful
• Keep your faith, trust and know all is always well
• Listen to the voice within, your inner coach - you're full of wisdom
• Make every moment magical by just being who you are
• Namaste - we are all one pure and divine, protected and loved
• Open up to oneness, the essence of joy
• Polarity exists in everything. It's diversity that adds spice to life
• Quit whining. Quiet your mind and have a real heart-to-heart with yourself
• Reach for the thought that always feels better. It's out there
• Serve others unselfishly and you serve yourself. Givers do gain
• Teach others, learn from others. Share, share, share and grow!
• Utilize your powers of observation
• Value the uniqueness of 'you' and share the 'you' with others
• Willpower is within you to create anything you want to be, have or do
• X-ray yourself through visualizations and see all the possibilities that exist
• Yield to the child in you. Play, laugh, giggle a lot and have fun
• Zap some zeal and zest in your life - amp up your positive energy!
- Dory Willer, The Inner Connection Coach

Quote of the Day
"Everyone has inside of him/her a piece of good news. The good news is that you don't know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is!"
~ Anne Frank

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My new thing for ’06 is “Get it right, get it tight” I know that doesn’t rhyme with ’06. But, I have already decided that that is going to be my battle cry for the year.

’05 has been a good year for me personally. I did a lot of growing within this year. I learned that it is okay to think about myself. Life is easier when I don’t do things that I don’t want to do. The world isn’t going to end if I say, “No”. Also, you shouldn’t say, “No” to everything because you could be blocking your blessings. When you choose yourself than others will you choose you. Sometimes people are in your life for a reason and a season. It is okay to let people go. And, most importantly, you should celebrate yourself! Everyday is a new opportunity for something wonderful and fantastic to happen to you.

I came across some information that may be useful to you to start your New Year off right:

I believe that we are all Superstars, in one way or the other, so why not receive fan mail confirming that belief. Sign up at http://www.markkaye.com/ you can receive some! Mark Kaye loves getting fan mail. He loves it so much he thinks everybody should get some! Type in your name and email and Mark Kaye will send YOU fan mail every week to remind you how great you are!

Is being more organized on your list of must do’s for the New Year. With help from Office Depot, in 30 minutes a day for five days you can become more organized in your business life. Some of the tips can also be used in your personal life as well, you can download a free copy of "The Office Depot Five-Day Office Makeover Plan" at http://www.officedepot.com/getorganized


Whether you want to lose weight, maintain where you are or you need a little motivation to take yourself to the next level, here is some help. From January 2 – January 8 between the hours of 3 p.m. and 11 p.m. EST, consumers can dial in to the “Fresh Resolution Hotline,” 1-877-Now Fresh (877-669-3737) and receive free support, advice and resources from ADA nutritionist. Also, you can sign up at http://www.subwayfreshresolutions.com to receive free daily telephone reminders and motivational recordings from Jared throughout the month of January.


Here are some really useful tips for Career, Health and Maintaining Goals

TIPS FOR JOB HUNTING ON THE INTERNET
Here are Job-Hunt.org's seven rules for searching for a job using the internet:
Protect your privacy.

1. For your job search, use an anonymous e-mail address (HotMail, Yahoo, etc.), and limit the contact information in your resume to your e-mail address and cell phone or other unlisted phone number.

2. Don't look for a job with a new employer while you are at work.
That's a quick and easy way to get fired. According to a 2005 American Management Association survey, 76% of employers monitored employee Web surfing, and 25% fired employees for inappropriate use of the Web or e-mail.

3. Use the Web to research an employer before you apply for a job.
Visit the employer's Website to see what they do, and find job postings. Also visit Yahoo Finance, BusinessWire.com, PRNewsWire.com, Hoover's, etc. to discover the latest news about their industry, competition and financial situation. Don't be the last person hired before layoffs begin. Guess who'll be first out?

4. Don't depend on any Web job site (large or small) to find you a job.
Job boards can be very effective, but recruiters receive an overwhelming number of resumes for every job. Instead, differentiate yourself from the crowd by following these rules and following up on every application, politely but relentlessly.

5. Use the Web to expand and renew your personal network.
Check your school's career center, local job search support group, former employer's "alumni" network, and/or any professional or industry organizations you have joined. Post privacy-sensitive profiles with sites like LinkedIn, Ziggs, ZoomInfo, etc., but be cautious about disclosing information irrelevant to your job search.

6. Leverage technology to differentiate yourself from the pack.
Use the computer combined with your research to create resumes and cover letters customized for specific opportunities. Unless directed otherwise, copy the text of your resume and cover letter into an e-mail. Don't attach them.

7. Don't expect e-mail to be reliable. Most organizations protect their e-mail systems with spam filters that might send your message to the junk mail folder. And their messages to you may meet the same fate. Follow up via phone, and check your junk mail folders often.

Find more information on using e-mail, protecting privacy, and online networking at http://www.Job-Hunt.org, recipient of several prestigious awards including Forbes Magazine's "Best of the Web" and PC Magazine's "Best of the Internet."


10 TIPS FROM CAROL ESPEL, National Director of Group Fitness and Exercise Physiologist

1. Create your own contract. Write a contract to yourself with your resolutions and all the reasons why you want to keep them, and then sign it! By signing the contract your have committed to yourself that you are going to stick to your Resolutions.

2. Make small, attainable goals. If weight loss is your goal then consider starting out with 20 minutes of cardiovascular activity 2-3 times a week, then slowly increase your time to 30 minutes each session. You will begin to see and feel a difference in a few short weeks!

3. Hire a certified personal trainer. Having a trainer will keep you on track and give you the motivation and direction you need to obtain your goals.

4. Clear your shelves and fridge! Throw out all of the junk food in your house; if it isn't in the house you won't be able to eat it when you feel the urge. Replace old snack foods with new ones like cut veggies and fresh fruit.

5. Stay off the scale. Use the way your clothes fit to judge your progress, not the bathroom scale. Muscle is denser than fat. You may be losing inches without significant weight loss.

6. Chose an activity that you really enjoy doing. Participating in activities that you enjoy such as walking, riding a bike or going to group exercise classes will not only keep you motivated, but, by mixing them up, will keep boredom from setting in.

7. Make it part of your day. Schedule exercise as if it were lunch. No one likes skipping meals right? Then don't skip your exercise appointment.

8. Motivate yourself by listening to music while you exercise. Putting on your favorite music while you exercise will lift your spirits and put some pep in your step.

9. Exercise with a friend. Having someone that needs you to motivate them as you much as you need motivation helps you both stay on track.

10. Reward yourself. Once you achieve a short-term goal, do something nice for yourself ... perhaps buy a new piece of clothing that makes you feel great.

Enjoy the process and arrive at your goals in a timely manner. As your lifestyle changes, your activity and strength will naturally increase and results will come in an easeful and enjoyable progression.

SOURCE Equinox Fitness Club
Web Site: http://www.equinoxfitness.com


SIX TIPS THAT CAN HELP ANY GOAL SETTING EXERCISE LEAD TO MORE EFFECTIVE RESULTS

1. Fix in the mind, the exact goal. One must be able to imagine what it will feel like to have achieved the goal. This is the mental picture which will provide the "compass" towards its attainment.

2. Determine exactly what will be done to achieve this goal.

3. Establish a date for when this goal will be achieved.

4. Create a detailed plan and take some action immediately.

5. Write out a clear statement of the goal.

6. Review the goal, preferably out loud, twice a day.

You can get more insights about this topic from Dave Saunders’ website http://www.the-time-management-guy.com.


The Harvard Women's Health Watch suggests six reasons to get enough sleep:

1. Learning and memory: Sleep helps the brain commit new information to memory through a process called memory consolidation. In studies, people who'd slept after learning a task did better on tests later.

2. Metabolism and weight: Chronic sleep deprivation may cause weight gain by affecting the way our bodies process and store carbohydrates, and by altering levels of hormones that affect our appetite.

3. Safety: Sleep debt contributes to a greater tendency to fall asleep during the daytime. These lapses may cause falls and mistakes such as medical errors, air traffic mishaps, and road accidents.

4. Mood: Sleep loss may result in irritability, impatience, inability to concentrate, and moodiness. Too little sleep can also leave you too tired to do the things you like to do.

5. Cardiovascular health: Serious sleep disorders have been linked to hypertension, increased stress hormone levels,and irregular heartbeat.

6. Disease: Sleep deprivation alters immune function, including the activity of the body's killer cells. Keeping up with sleep may also help fight cancer.

Harvard Women's Health Watch is available from Harvard Health Publications, the publishing division of Harvard Medical School, for $24 per year. Subscribe at http://www.health.harvard.edu/women or by calling 1-877- 649-9457 (toll free).

Quote for the Day

"When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid."
-Audre Lorde, Poet (1934-1992)

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I know that I have not written in awhile. I really didn’t have much going on. Thanks to a very good friend of mine, I had a wonderful fantastic Christmas. Thank you, Deborah! She had great company! Great food! And, great wine! It was true celebration. Since my last birthday, anyone that knows me knows that I am all for celebrating. I came across some great entertaining tips from Valorie Luther of White Linen Events. You can use these tips to create and organize a New Year’s Eve Party, your next Birthday Party or anything else that you can think of that deserves a celebration.

Here are some tips to help you create and organize any party, especially New Year's Eve.

Food: Make it easy. If you love to cook then go for the complicated menu, but for those of us who have had it with the big meals from the holidays, make party planning effortless and either order in or prepare simple dishes. Last year, I made pizzas on pre-made pizza crust. I got creative with the ingredients which made it fun and easy for me and satisfying for my guests (have you ever tried humus, spinach sautéed in garlic, northern white beans and parmesan cheese on a crust or strips of steak on a crust covered with 3 different cheeses?). Stress free is the key here because if you are happy, your guests will be delighted.

Drinks: Drinks don't have to be complicated either. With such a small and familiar group of guests, it should be easy to serve them. Go to your regular liquor store to get some advice on new and different red, white and sparkling wines. Go to http://www.bartender.com to get some new ideas on fun drinks and go to http://www.floras-hideout.com for some original non alcoholic drinks. Whether you go with the usual or the unusual, just make sure your guests are comfortable with the choices you provide.

Decorating: Again, make it simple and fun. A good friend and amazing event designer Ruth Ridgeway of Ruth Ridgeway Designs goes for an Asian theme on New Year's Eve. She gets two large blocks of homosote, a pressed fiber board that is heat proof and easy to cut, and she puts a couple of low saw horses underneath to make a big table. She covers it with some interesting fabric and throws pillows on the floor for seating. Ruth uses fun chargers, plates, rice bowls and sake cups she has bought from Chinatown in New York City along with candles and orchids to add a special touch to the table. She then orders in Chinese and is ready for a relaxing evening with close friends. Make the theme simple and make it your own!

Entertainment: For a New Year's Eve casual get together, again, make it simple. Good conversation, a favorite line up of music piped in from your CD system, and confetti and blowers for the midnight celebration will do it. Less is always more. It's the connection that the hosts have with the guests that really counts at that moment when the hand strikes midnight.

You are now on your way to having a relaxing low-key yet festive party for your family and/or friends. New Year's Eve only comes around once a year so give yourself a gift of enjoying yourself and your guests by planning ahead and making it simple.

About White Linen Events
Valorie Luther is Principal of White Linen Events which is an event management company specializing in weddings, private parties, corporate functions and fundraisers where the mission, through the experience and skills of Valorie Luther and her team, is to understand the client's vision and goals and then exceed their expectations by creating and managing an exceptional event!

Valorie Luther is available for speaking engagements and writing assignments on Entertaining. For more go to her blog:
http://Entertainingnews.blogspot.com

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By Valerie Young

This fall marks a momentous occasion. I’m proud to say that in a few short weeks I’ll be joining the ranks of baby boomers turning fifty.

If popular culture is any indication, I should find this particular milestone cause for great consternation. From the distress of new found wrinkles to the regrets of unrealized dreams to the reality of one’s mortality, they don’t call it “The Big 5-0” for nothing.

So why am I so unfazed? Maybe it’s because I feel happier, healthier, and in the ways that really count, more attractive than at any other time in my life. Mostly though, what I’ve noticed is a profound sense of clarity about who I am and what I want. And I have every intention of getting it.

Are You Settling?
When you’re younger, I find, you’re more apt to settle. We settle in relationships (“It’s better than being alone”), we settled for high-stress, low-satisfaction jobs (“It could be worse”), we settle for all kinds of things that later in life would be simply unacceptable. Now that I’m pushing 50, settling feels entirely, well, uninteresting.

Settling is not the same as compromise. Healthy relationships require a certain degree of compromise from both partners. And while I think you can get darned close, no job is perfect. There are times I’d rather curl up in the big chair in my living room and nap – or do just about anything else than hustle to meet some deadline. But life is all about trade-offs.

Settling is different. When you settle, you unwittingly or wittingly check your true needs, desires, feelings, and gifts at the door. By settling you’re essentially telling yourself, “This is the best I can do.” You don’t even try to get your needs met, or realize your true desires, or express your feelings, or bring your gifts into the world because you either don’t think a) it’s possible or b) that you deserve to get what you want.

The “pathological optimist” in me is here to tell you that far more is possible than you think and everyone – including you – deserves to go after what they want. (You’ll be hearing from the “pathological pragmatist” in me shortly.)

How to Get What You Want
In my experience, getting what you want is a three-step process that involves clarity, action, and hope. Here are some questions to help you navigate each step:

1. Getting clear.
The first and most obvious question to ask here is, “What do I really want and need?” You may be surprised at your own answers. For example, when I asked workshop participants to name the three things they absolutely had to have in their work life I expected to hear the big
three: Flexibility, balance, and satisfaction. Instead they cited a delightful range of wants and needs from having their pet by their side while they work to frequent travel to intellectual stimulation to the need to help make the world a better place.

Getting clear is not just about your work life. There’s no time like the present to clarify what you want in all realms of your life. For
example:

~What do you need in terms of your physical surroundings… your home, your neighborhood, your community? (Me, I’m in hot pursuit of a house with a view.)

~What do you want and need in a relationship? (Or, perhaps what you really need right now is to have a relationship with yourself.)

~What do you need to achieve or maintain your well being – emotionally, physically, spiritually?

~What about financially? (Money is always a good place to be clear on the difference between wants and needs. You may want to make six figures but you need far less to meet your basic needs.)

Consider too the things that interfere with you getting what you want. One question that can help here is, “What am I tolerating?” It might be an unreasonable boss or workload, a stressful commute, a less than supportive family, the lack of alone time, a self-limiting belief, or a refusal to let yourself let go of the past and embrace what could be.

Once you get clear on what you want, do yourself a favor and put it in writing. That’s what Dilbert cartoonist Scott Adams did. Adams desperately wanted to escape his corporate cubicle to become a syndicated cartoonist. To keep his goal front and center he wrote his goal not once, not twice, but 15 times – a day!

2. Take steps to get what you want.
Adams wasn’t just engaging in wishful thinking. The guy backed up his goal with action. Before heading off to his corporate cubicle, Adams would work on his cartoons from 5:00 to 7:00am until he had compiled enough to put in an envelope and send off to United Feature Syndicate.
The rest, as they say, is history. Today Adams is, in his words, “obscenely wealthy,” doing exactly what he loves, and using his gifts to make millions of other corporate drones laugh at the absurdities of modern organizational life.

Sometimes the action can be as simple as asking for what you want. Depending on what it is you want and need, you might ask for time, respect, information, resources, space, affection, validation, compensation, further explanation, assistance, understanding… the list can go on and on. The key is to ask!

3. Have hope.
I promised you’d hear from the “pathological pragmatist” in me, so here it is. Just because you know what you want and ask, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll get it. You can ask your boss for a raise, but that doesn’t mean you’ll get that raise. In fact, the things you’re least likely to get are those that are solely dependent on someone else’s cooperation and needs.

If you’re feeling discouraged by the idea of not getting what you want, don’t be. Have you heard the expression “Be careful what you ask for”? Think about it. If you always got what you thought you wanted, you’d be “married” to your first youthful crush (now that’s a scary thought). You don’t necessarily get what you want, but as the Rolling Stones famously reminded us, you do always get what you need.

So where does hope come in? Noted playwright, poet, political dissident, and former president of Czechoslovakia and later the Czech Republic, Vaclac Havel, once wrote:

“Hope is an orientation of the spirit, an orientation of the heart. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.”

What do Havel’s words mean to you? How can you develop an orientation of the heart that allows you to believe that no matter what happens, regardless of how things turn out – even if you are disappointed – that things have meaning?

If you are serious in your intention to change course, you must do so with a hopeful spirit. Expect bumps in the road. At the same time, have faith that there is a reason for everything and that, even if the reason is not clear at the time, everything really does makes sense.

You don’t have to wait to turn 50 to experience the serenity and the power that comes with knowing what you want. Life is just too short to settle for less.

About the Author
“Off the beaten career path” consultant, Valerie Young, abandoned her corporate cubicle to become the Dreamer in Residence at http://www.ChangingCourse.com, offering free resources to help you discover your life mission and live it. Her career change tips have been cited The Wall Street Journal, USA Today Weekend, Redbook, Entrepreneur’s Business Start Ups, and on-line at MSN, CareerBuilder, and iVillage.com. An expert on the Impostor Syndrome, she’s presented her How to Feel as Bright and Capable as Everyone Seems to Think You Are program to thousands of people.

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by Brian Tracy

After having studied top achievers and peak performers over the past 25 years, I've concluded that these unique men and women have, in most cases, mastered what I call the Seven C's of Success.

Clarity - Eighty percent of success comes from being clear on who you are, what you believe in and what you want.

Competence - You can't climb to the next rung on the ladder until you are excellent at what you do now.

Constraints - Eighty percent of all obstacles to success come from within. Find out what is constraining in you or your company and deal with it.

Concentration - The ability to focus on one thing single-mindedly and see it through until its done takes more character than anything else.

Creativity - Flood your life with ideas from many sources. Creativity needs to be exercised like a muscle, if you don't use it you'll lose it.

Courage - Most in demand and least in supply, courage is the willingness to do the things you know are right.

Continuous learning - Read, at the very least, one book a week on business to keep you miles ahead of the competition. And just as you eat and bathe, organize your time so you spend 30 minutes a day exploring e-mail, sending messages, going through web sites, because like exercise, it's the only way you can keep on top of technology. If you get away from it, you'll lose your edge.

Quote of the Day
The purposes in the human mind are like deep water, but the intelligent [man] will draw them out.
- Proverbs 20:5 NRS

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Hello,

Long time, no update. Not too many new and exciting things have been happening with me. I found a new church home, Grace AME. My daughter has joined the choir, she sang over the weekend. I joined the women's ministry. I plan on joining the Usher Board. I am loosing with Weight Watchers. Yeah!!!!! My writing has been slipping. But, I have been preparing for November (Write a Novel in a Month Challenge). And, I do keep an idea journal so the juices are flowing and stewing. Life is good. Today, I am posting an old favorite(Are you STILL dating?)and a new message that was passed on to me today. I don't have quotes for you but I will next time. I hope that you enjoy the following posts.

Are you STILL dating?
As we embark on the weekend, I have a question. (As I always do) Are you still dating God?

I know I am all in your business but I just want to know. You know He's a great guy. He looks out for you. He gives you great advice and words of encouragement when you are feeling down. He's even man enough to stand up to you when you know you're wrong. That's a good thing right? Nobody wants a wimp. So why haven't you gotten together yet?

I know how it can be. You can like a person, know they're good for you but not really take the time to get to know them. I know you hang out with Him from time to time and sometimes on Sundays but are you getting serious yet? I know He calls you, but do you call Him back? Then when you do talk to Him, do you talk or do you just sit there listening?

Look, I'm here to tell you, the man is really interested. He loves you. He's been in love with you for a while. He even said so, Jeremiah 31:3

Stop Cutting Yourself Down!
Discussing his low self-esteem, cartoon character Charlie Brown says,
"It goes back to when I first set foot on the stage of life. They looked at me and said, 'He's just not right for the part!'" You may smile, but when you've spent your life engaged in self-flagellation you know exactly what he means. The man in the tombs spent his days "cutting himself" because he thought he was worthless. And many of us who wear a game face in public spend our days doing the same thing.

Your self-image is second only to your faith in God. It doesn't matter what others think of you, what matters is what you think of yourself -based on what God thinks! Self-esteem has to come from self. That's why it's hard to believe the good things people say about you when you can't see them in yourself. Plus, how you treat others flows directly from your reservoir of personal dignity and self-respect. It's impossible to "Love your neighbour as yourself" (Mt 19:19 NIV) when you don't even like yourself. Paul says a man should love his wife like he loves himself (See Eph 5:28). But when you detest yourself how can you love your mate?

The only time any of us even comes close to perfection is on a job application! Stop cutting yourself down! God made you the way you are in order to use you the way He planned. Start complimenting Him on the great job He did. And remember, He loves you unconditionally - and that's the only reason you need for loving yourself!

Bible-in-a-year Reading: Gen 24:1-51, 2 Cor 6:14 - 7:1

K.M. Abney has been a featured writer on the web. She is a member of the Black Writers Guild and Toastmasters. She loves feedback and can be contacted at kenmoab1@verizon.net.

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By Shelley Lowery

If you're looking for a powerful way to get free publicity and build your credibility at the same time, then writing articles may be your answer.

If you've been on the Internet for a while, you've probably subscribed to a few ezines. Many ezine publishers will include an article written by a guest author. At the endof the article are a few lines of text about the author referred to as bylines or resource box. These lines of text are basically just an advertisement for the writer. They usually contain a couple of lines about the author and a web address.

The writer gives the publisher permission to publish their article, free of charge, in exchange for the publisher including the author's bylines.

By writing articles and allowing them to be freely published, your articles will have the potential to be viewed by millions of Internet users. They may be
published by several ezines with subscriber bases of a few hundred to several thousand. In addition, they may be displayed in ezine archives or on high traffic websites.

Most ezine publishers prefer short articles between 500 and 750 words. Short "tip" articles of just a couple of paragraphs are also very popular. Articles should be formatted to 65 characters per line or less, including spaces, and written in short paragraph sections.

When you begin writing your article, avoid using your standard word processing programs, as they do not allow for proper formatting. Instead, use a text editor such as NotePad. It should already be installed on your desktop.

When you begin typing your article, use a hard carriage return (hit enter) when your text reaches 65 characters, including spaces, and leave a space between your paragraphs. This will enable publishers to easily copy and paste your article into their publication. By taking the time to properly format your article, you will increase your chance of being published significantly.

Most publishers receive many article submissions each week and only select a few to be published. Here are some basic guidelines to assist you in getting published:

(1) Make sure you follow the publishers' submission guidelines. Articles submitted to publishers that don't follow the submission guidelines will most likely be deleted.

(2) Make sure your article is properly formatted. Publishers won't take the time to format your article. They'll simply delete it and move on to the next article
submission.

(3) Keep your bylines down to 6 lines or less. Publishers will not publish articles that contain excessively long bylines.

(4) Select a descriptive title to intrigue your readers. Use a powerful headline that demands attention and try to keep it all on one line.

(5) Use proper grammar and spelling. Publishers will not take the time to edit your article. Make sure you read your article several times and use spellcheck.

(6) Avoid articles that are nothing more than a sales letter. Publishers want quality content and will simply delete an article that is written like a sales letter.

(7) Avoid referring readers to an affiliate URL. Articles containing affiliate links may make your article appear to be biased and untrustworthy.

(8) Write your articles with a sincere desire to teach and inform. Talk to your readers and share your expertise.

Once you've written your article, you'll need to develop a list of publishers that may be interested in publishing it. The best way to accomplish this is to display your articles on your website. Place a subscription box on each of your
article pages to enable your visitors to subscribe. This list should be used to send your new articles to your list of publishers.

In addition, you can visit some ezine sites to locate publishers who may be interested in your articles. A good place to start is eZINESearch.
http://www.ezinesearch.com

Search through the database for publications that may be interested in the type of article you've written.

Another great way to promote your articles is to submit them to article announcement groups. These groups enable writers to submit their articles to an entire group of publishers, completely free.

Article Announcement Lists:

Article Announce
Subscribe:
mailto:article_announce-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

AABusiness
Subscribe:
mailto:aabusiness-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

AAInternet
Subscribe:
mailto:aainet-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

PublishInYours
Subscribe:
mailto:PublishInYours-subscribe@egroups.com

Articles Archive
Subscribe:
mailto:articles_archives-subscribe@egroups.com

Free Content
Subscribe:
mailto:Free-Content-subscribe@egroups.com

Make sure you review the submission guidelines prior to posting your article to an announcement group.

Here are some additional promotional resources to help you get published:

http://www.web-source.net/articlesub.htm
http://www.web-source.net/syndicator_submit.htm
http://www.authorconnection.com/
http://www.ideamarketers.com/
http://www.ezinearticles.com/
http://www.marketing-seek.com/
http://www.netterweb.com/articles/

Writing and distributing free articles on the Internet will be one of the best promotional decisions you'll ever make. Not only will it provide you with free
publicity, but if your articles are good, you'll become a trusted professional in your area of expertise.

Copyright © 2001, all rights reserved

About the Author:
Shelley Lowery is the author of Ebook Starter - A complete ebook design kit. Subscribe to Etips, for a wealth of quality information to assist you in Web Design, Internet Marketing & Ecommerce. All new subscribers receive a free copy of the highly acclaimed ebook, "Killer Internet Marketing
Strategies." http://www.web-source.net/cgi-bin/t.cgi?l=bl1

Affirmations of the Week:
I create what I want easily and effortlessly.
I am magnetic to my higher good and it is magnetic to me.

Quotes for the Day
"I am responsible for my own well-being, my own happiness. The choices and decisions I make regarding my life directly influence the quality of my days."
~ Kathleen Andrus

“The wise man bridges the gap by laying out the path by means of which he can get from where he is to where he wants to go.”
~ John Pierpont Morgan

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By Judy Cullins ©2004 All Rights Reserved.

Agents and publishing houses have their best interests at heart, not the author's. Save yourself from headaches, disappointments, and money down the drain. Become your own independent publisher and produce your book faster and cheaper. All you need is a little help from professionals.

Myth: You need an agent or big publishing house to market your book and make big money.

Since big publishers don't look at unknown authors, now is the time to look at what they can do for you. Dan Poynter, self-publishing guru, says that if a publisher can't sell four times as many books as you can, you're better off selling it yourself. Self-publish first because it acts as a test market for your book. If it sells well (over 10,000 in a year) publishers may be interested in your book.

Traditional publishers and agents accept only 1-2% of authors' submissions and even if you are one of the "chosen" you may not make much money after printing, bookstore, distributor, wholesaler and other expenses--probably $2 on a $14 book. Yes, you get an advance, but your sales must meet that and more. And after the initial book tour, the trainee marketing person is onto the next new author. Then, your books disappear from the bookstore shelf unless you, personally, devote a lot of time to marketing them.

Book Publishing is a new game today. Think self-publishing where the profits are all yours. Thanks to Dan Poynter of the Self Pulsing Manual for giving us permission to do part of the task ourselves. If you self-publish and decide to print, you need to print only the copies you need (5-500) with the new technology Print on Demand (POD). Even better is Print Quantity Needed (PQN) such as Deharts.com. No more unsold cartons of books in your closets or garage. You print as you go leaving enough cash flow to market your book splendidly.

Myth: To be a respected author, you must invest thousands of hours of time on your full-length book.

The reality is that people today want concise and useful information. You don't have to write a 200-page book to be a real author. Remember The One-Minute Manager and the One- Minute Salesperson? Around one hundred pages. People want information fast and convenient. Create short information products that are between 20 and 99 pages you can sell online, even if you don't have your own Web site.

If you choose to print your book with Print Quantity Needed (PQN), your perfect bound books will look as good as any book on the bookstore shelves.

Myth: Authors must spend a lot of money to publish themselves.

The printing costs for 1500 copies of a 160-page book might cost $3000, about $2 a unit. Small runs cost even more per unit. That's a lot of cash for anyone to put out all at once, and it's not worth it to many of us to use our home equity or life savings to finance our book. The answer is a small run with Print on Demand (POD) where you can print from 100 to 500 for around $2.40 for 160 pages. Without the high inventory, you can maintain a comfortable cash flow to spend on promotion, the most important part of your book adventure.

You save even more money if you don't print your book. Book publishing is going Internet. You can write small books in less time market them easily and inexpensively on the Web and reap profits sooner. Try an e-book. It can be downloaded, it takes no printing costs because your buyer prints or downloads it. You don't even have to have the whole book finished to sell it. Just include your table of contents at the end of each chapter and present it as an e-serial book.

As a book coach, I am an authors' advocate and want you to make money. Going traditional doesn't work. Give ePublishing a chance.
===============
Judy Cullins, 20-year Book and Internet Marketing Coach works with small business people who want to make a difference in people's lives, build their credibility and clients, and make a consistent life-long income. Judy is author of 10 eBooks including Write your eBook or Other Short Book Fast, Ten Non-Techie Ways to Market Your Book Online, The Fast and Cheap Way to Explode Your Targeted Web Traffic, and Power Writing for Web Sites That Sell. She offers free help through her 2 monthly ezines, "The BookCoach Says...," "Business Tip of the Month," blog Q & A at www.bookcoaching.com and over 185 free articles.

Affirmations of the Week:
I create what I want easily and effortlessly.
I am magnetic to my higher good and it is magnetic to me.

Quotes of the Day:
Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely.
~ Auguste Rodin, 1840-1917, French Sculptor

"One realizes the full importance of time only when there is little of it left. Every man's greatest capital asset is his unexpired years of productive life."
~ P. W. Litchfield

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by Steven Ivory

This was supposed to be The Future. Remember?

By the 21st century, we were going to be living like the Jetsons and dressing as Patti and the rest of LaBelle did in those space-age outfits during their "Lady Marmalade" days.

By now, we were to be vacationing on Venus and Mars. And every door, not just the ones at the local supermarket, would slide open automatically. At least, that's how we romanticized it way back in the 20th Century. After all, at the time the 21st century was still a long way off. It was The Future.

Had anyone asked, I could have told them all about The Future. I lived there, if only in my dreams, for more days than I care to admit.

It was called Someday. You won't find it on the calendar--there's Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, etc., but no Someday--but I knew it wasn't a figment of my imagination. I mean, my plans for the future are vivid, and so was Someday.

Its reality was verified for me in a song by the '70s vocal group, the Five Stairsteps, whose sentimental classic, "Ooh Child," portrays Someday for all its euphoric worth: "SOMEDAY, we'll put it together and we'll get it all done/SOMEDAY, yeah, we'll walk in the rays of a beautiful sun, SOMEDAAAY..."

In that song, Someday is a place whose promise looms huge, its twinkling potential infinite.

Someday.

Someday is the garage of our cerebral, storage space for our ambitions, large and small. It is the part of you that you've placed in life's Layaway plan, patiently waiting to be claimed. And you will, you say, Someday.

Not to be confused in dynamism, significance or dimension with something as trite as One of These Days, Someday, just this side of the Twilight Zone, is steeped in hope and wonder.

Someday's durability is magnificent; unlike any other conventional measurement of time, it occupies no designated or permanent space in the universe. Yet, Someday is real--as real and as sincere as you can possibly be to yourself and remain as vague as hell.

You should have seen my Someday. It was and remains a glorious, surreal carnival of missions accomplished; a manicured field of dreams fulfilled. Someday, everything in my life was going to be exactly as I'd dreamed: I'd collect the material things I desired. Shore up family ties. I'd finally create the body I wanted. I'd travel. Someday would heal whatever pained me emotionally.

Someday, I was gonna meet the girl of my dreams--someone, of course, who would shamelessly buy into my Someday.

It was damn near perfect, my Someday, and what wasn't perfect, would have been...Someday. See, that's how Someday works--the good stuff in your life is always ahead of you, always something you're GOING to do. Most of what I really wanted in the present somehow got relegated to Someday.

I wish I could report the single ominous moment that revealed to me the bullshit of it all. Actually, it was just a matter of facing the grim and lonely truth that Someday is procrastination on steroids, pretty much a metaphor for Never, a byproduct of fear and self-doubt.

As for The Future, well, it's already here. It arrived long before the 21st century. It's called Right Now. This--today, RIGHT NOW--is all we have. And while tomorrow isn't promised to anyone, you don't wanna be caught with your dreams down around your ankles, just in case. As we live this life, it is what we do Right Now that will shape the days ahead.

In the end, even the Stairsteps, arbiters of Someday, figured this out. By "Ooh Child"'s crescendo, they triumphantly declared, just in time for the fade, that "things are gonna get brighter...RIGHT NOW." It took them exactly two minutes and forty-five seconds to make the transformation. Let's just say it took me a little longer, but still earlier than Someday. By light years.

Steven Ivory's book, FOOL IN LOVE (Touchstone/Simon & Schuster) is in stores now or at Amazon.com Respond to him via STEVRIVORY@AOL.COM or MYfeedback@eurweb.com

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Whoever thought you'd be able to get organized in just 10 minutes?! Here are a few simple ideas.

1. 10 Minute Chore Box:
Rather than spending hours organizing, and doing it all yourself, create a 10 minute Chore Box for yourself and one for each family member, if applicable.

Each person's box would contain specific chores or tasks that need to be completed. The chores are written on slips of paper, and take a maximum of 10 minutes each to accomplish.

You can gear the tasks towards the person's abilities (e.g. while older kids can help out with vacuuming, a 3-year-old may instead be responsible for putting away his/her toys).

Each day, as a chore is completed, that slip of paper is placed in a holding envelope until the Chore Box is empty. Then, when empty, the boxes are refilled, and the system starts over again. This also works well at the office!

2. 10 Minute Pick-Up:
Control the chaos. Schedule a consistent, '10 minute Pick-up' each night. Set a timer to sound an alarm in 10 minutes.

While the clock is ticking, all family members are responsible for clearing out and putting away their belongings from the main family area.

When the timer sounds, you're all done. Give yourselves a warm round of applause for all you've accomplished.

3. 10 Minute 'When I Have Time' Goals:
One of the oldest phrases in the book is, 'I'll do that, when I have the time.' Problem is, that time never seems to come.

If you REALLY want to do something, the time can generally be found pretty easily. For example, if you just won an all-expenses paid trip to the land of your dreams, you'd probably find time to fit it into your busy schedule without much of a problem.

So, it's time to begin fitting in those things you want to do, and 10 Minute Goals can help. Schedule 10 minutes a day to catch up on your reading, or to begin learning that foreign language, or to simply spend having fun with your children. Then, work on those goals when the schedule date and time rolls around.

4. 10 Minute Luxuries:
Don't forget to schedule a few 10 Minutes Luxuries per day to do something nice for yourself.

Sometimes the day is so rushed and chaotic, that it's easy to forget the really important things like family, health, spirituality, personal time and so on.

Take that 10 minute vacation every day. You deserve it!

About the Author:
Maria Gracia, founder of http://www.getorganizednow.com and author of the book "Finally Organized, Finally Free," can help you organize your home, your office and your life.

FRËE Idea-Pak and E-zine filled with tips, ideas, articles and more to help you organize your home, your office and your life at the Get Organized Now! Web site!

Quotes for the Day
"Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some."
~ Charles Dickens

"Anything that is wasted effort represents wasted time. The best management of our time thus becomes linked inseparably with the best utilization of our efforts."
~ Ted W. Engstrom

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I want to share with you today a story that I got from Dennis Kimbro, the author of Think and Grow Rich: A Black Choice. Dennis told a story about Malcolm X that he heard from Percy Sutton, the former Manhattan Borough president. As a young lawyer, Percy Sutton represented Malcolm X in a court case and had won against overwhelming odds. It was a very intense court battle between Malcolm and his adversaries. As they were leaving the courthouse, Malcolm’s supporters were one the side and his adversaries were on the other. Malcolm and Percy Sutton had to be protected by a number of bodyguards as they made their way to a long black limousine.

Percy Sutton was so scared he could hardly speak, while Malcolm was as cool as a cucumber Percy asked him, “Minister Malcolm, how can you be so cool in the face of all this danger, here where you can lose your life any minute?”

Malcolm calmly replied, “I hadn’t even noticed any danger. My mind is thinking about other things, things other than my morality. But the reason I am not worried is because of a story I heard which gave me a new perspective on life. Brother Percy, years ago I was told a story about an old worker named Omar who had a dream and had seen the face of death. He woke up and ran to his Master and asked could he have the fastest horse so he could escape death. The Master gave him the swiftest horse. Omar rode without stopping for three days. He did not stop for food or sleep or provisions. He rode as fast as he could. After three days the road branched into seven separate roads. He took the one to the far right but soon changed his mind. He took the one to the far left but changed again, and continued to vacillate from road to road until he had one left. He took that road and rode fast and strong. After he rode about 500 feet, the face of death appeared and said, ‘Omar, Omar, why have you kept me waiting for three days?’” Malcolm turned to Mr. Sutton and said, “The moral of this story is that you can run and you can hide, you can twist and you can turn, but no matter what you do, you can’t get out of this life alive.”

So while you’re here you’d better find your life’s purpose, live life to the fullest, pursue excellence, and live your dream because you can’t get out of this life alive!

By Willie Jolley, Host of the “Willie Jolley Motivational Minute” syndicated radio show!

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