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Choices, Decisions, What Is For You
Posted by Unknown
on
8:04 PM
I love to solicit opinions. I call myself an idea person. It is natural for me to come up with an idea and ask for several opinions before I do something. Or, if I have a problem, I like to find out what other people have done when they were faced with a similar situation. Or, what someone thinks that they would do. Usually, people have a lot to say when you ask them their opinion. Some tell you too much.
Mothers are well known for giving unsolicited advice and opinions when no one is asking them. Not my Mother. Even when I would ask her for advice she would tell me, “I can only live one life at a time. Right now I’m having a time living mine. So, don’t look at me to tell you what to do with yours. What do you think you should do?” That is the problem. I didn’t know what to do. I was looking for someone else to give me answers.
Here are a few things to keep in mind, if you are looking for answers from someone else that you need to answer for yourself:
1. You have to live with the consequences of your actions.
Regardless of who came up with the idea, you have to look at yourself for the success and failure of the decision. Can’t blame Momma or your Cousin Lisa, you have to put a “H” on your chest and handle whatever comes your way as a direct result of your decision.
2. Ultimately, no one else knows what is best for you than you.
Most people mean well, but no one knows you or your situation as intimately as you do. Regardless if you share your situation with 10 people, you will tell it 10 different ways depending on who you are talking. And, since you know the situation and you know yourself, who do you think is most qualified to decide what you should do? Ding. Ding. Ding. That is right you. You know what you are willing to live with it. And, what you are not.
3. People will tell you to do things that they wouldn’t do in a million, billion years.
We have all heard it before: “If that were me” or “I would have done ABC instead XYZ”. Give that person the opportunity and they would have done the same thing you did. So, consider the source. Look at the choices that they have made. Would they really do the things that they would tell you? If they would, do they live a productive or destructive life? Would you want to live with their consequences? Proceed with caution.
4. Beware of peoples motives when they give you advice.
Not all advice comes from a good supportive place. Some people look only at their own interest. They don’t really care about what is best, or at least good, for you. They only want your actions to help them. Nine times out of 10 when you examine the situation for yourself you can tell when you are being used. It is not going to feel right. Follow that feeling; it is not leading you down the wrong path.
A good way to make a decision is to:
Pray on it. Give it to Jesus for real. And seek His guidance.
Break out a piece of paper and pen. And ask myself three questions:
1. What is the absolute worst thing that can happen as a result of me doing XYZ? (Really think on this one. Don’t tell yourself the worst that can happen is someone will tell me “no”, when you know that the consequences can be far more dire than that.)
2. What is the absolute best thing that can happen as a result of me doing ABC?
3. Can I handle the worst possible outcome if it happened? Am I willing to deal with sacrifice, ridicule or loss that might be a result of taking this action?
If I can’t live with the worst possible outcome than it is time to get back to the drawing board. Progress sometimes requires discomfort but you know what you can handle. And there is a strong possibility that the situation may have a favorable outcome for you.
Honestly, usually a happy medium between the two outcomes happens for me. I like to think about the best possible outcome of any situation because miracles only happen to people that believe they are in their realm of possibility. So why not contemplate the best happening to you?
Quote of the Day
There is just one life for each of us: our own.
- Euripides, 484-406 B.C., Greek Tragic Dramatist
If you aren't going all the way, why go at all?
- Joe Namath, Hall of Fame American Football Player
Affirmation of the Week
I am prosperity!
My supply is wherever I am.
It comes to me from every direction.
I accept this abundance bounty and opulence today.
I know that it is externalizing itself in my life and affairs.
Wherever I go, I shall meet prosperous people and prosperous conditions.
Whatever I think, I shall think with joy, optimism, happiness, and peace.
Whatever I do, I will do with wisdom, authority, power, and right action.
I separate my thought from any belief in want, in capacity, and in ability.
I disclaim the idea that I am broke, despondent, poor, crushed, defeated, or dependent.
All financial obligations, debts, and pressures are being liquidated.
All unhappy circumstances, conditions, and misunderstandings are being harmonized.
New opportunities and opening to me.
My whole mind, soul, and spirit accept these truths.
I am made rich!
Kenya Abney has been a featured writer on the web. She loves feedback and can be contacted at kenmoab1@verizon.net.
|
Mothers are well known for giving unsolicited advice and opinions when no one is asking them. Not my Mother. Even when I would ask her for advice she would tell me, “I can only live one life at a time. Right now I’m having a time living mine. So, don’t look at me to tell you what to do with yours. What do you think you should do?” That is the problem. I didn’t know what to do. I was looking for someone else to give me answers.
Here are a few things to keep in mind, if you are looking for answers from someone else that you need to answer for yourself:
1. You have to live with the consequences of your actions.
Regardless of who came up with the idea, you have to look at yourself for the success and failure of the decision. Can’t blame Momma or your Cousin Lisa, you have to put a “H” on your chest and handle whatever comes your way as a direct result of your decision.
2. Ultimately, no one else knows what is best for you than you.
Most people mean well, but no one knows you or your situation as intimately as you do. Regardless if you share your situation with 10 people, you will tell it 10 different ways depending on who you are talking. And, since you know the situation and you know yourself, who do you think is most qualified to decide what you should do? Ding. Ding. Ding. That is right you. You know what you are willing to live with it. And, what you are not.
3. People will tell you to do things that they wouldn’t do in a million, billion years.
We have all heard it before: “If that were me” or “I would have done ABC instead XYZ”. Give that person the opportunity and they would have done the same thing you did. So, consider the source. Look at the choices that they have made. Would they really do the things that they would tell you? If they would, do they live a productive or destructive life? Would you want to live with their consequences? Proceed with caution.
4. Beware of peoples motives when they give you advice.
Not all advice comes from a good supportive place. Some people look only at their own interest. They don’t really care about what is best, or at least good, for you. They only want your actions to help them. Nine times out of 10 when you examine the situation for yourself you can tell when you are being used. It is not going to feel right. Follow that feeling; it is not leading you down the wrong path.
A good way to make a decision is to:
Pray on it. Give it to Jesus for real. And seek His guidance.
Break out a piece of paper and pen. And ask myself three questions:
1. What is the absolute worst thing that can happen as a result of me doing XYZ? (Really think on this one. Don’t tell yourself the worst that can happen is someone will tell me “no”, when you know that the consequences can be far more dire than that.)
2. What is the absolute best thing that can happen as a result of me doing ABC?
3. Can I handle the worst possible outcome if it happened? Am I willing to deal with sacrifice, ridicule or loss that might be a result of taking this action?
If I can’t live with the worst possible outcome than it is time to get back to the drawing board. Progress sometimes requires discomfort but you know what you can handle. And there is a strong possibility that the situation may have a favorable outcome for you.
Honestly, usually a happy medium between the two outcomes happens for me. I like to think about the best possible outcome of any situation because miracles only happen to people that believe they are in their realm of possibility. So why not contemplate the best happening to you?
Quote of the Day
There is just one life for each of us: our own.
- Euripides, 484-406 B.C., Greek Tragic Dramatist
If you aren't going all the way, why go at all?
- Joe Namath, Hall of Fame American Football Player
Affirmation of the Week
I am prosperity!
My supply is wherever I am.
It comes to me from every direction.
I accept this abundance bounty and opulence today.
I know that it is externalizing itself in my life and affairs.
Wherever I go, I shall meet prosperous people and prosperous conditions.
Whatever I think, I shall think with joy, optimism, happiness, and peace.
Whatever I do, I will do with wisdom, authority, power, and right action.
I separate my thought from any belief in want, in capacity, and in ability.
I disclaim the idea that I am broke, despondent, poor, crushed, defeated, or dependent.
All financial obligations, debts, and pressures are being liquidated.
All unhappy circumstances, conditions, and misunderstandings are being harmonized.
New opportunities and opening to me.
My whole mind, soul, and spirit accept these truths.
I am made rich!
Kenya Abney has been a featured writer on the web. She loves feedback and can be contacted at kenmoab1@verizon.net.
|
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