Reality Check – Questions to screw your head on straight

I was going through old papers and came across the following. This is right up my alley because I sometimes over think things. I love to ask questions and figure out why people do the things that they do. If you are like me, in that way, this post is for you. Enjoy!

Reality Check – Questions to screw your head on straight
by Robert F. Sarmiento

Whenever you make yourself feel upset
(e.g. anxious, stressed, worried, depressed, angry, frustrated, embarrassed, insecure, jealous, etc.),

Or you behave in undesirable ways
(e.g. procrastinate, overeat, get high, lie, act impulsively, isolate, perfectionism, etc.),

Or you have physical symptoms of stress or depression
(e.g. headache, stomach ache, diarrhea, tension, hives, lack of energy, difficulty concentrating, sleep problems, etc.):

ASK YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS:
What am I doing to create this situation?
Are my emotions helping me or hurting me?
What am I telling myself?
What are the facts?
Am I exaggerating or distorting?
Are there other explanations?
How likely are my worries?
Whose problem is this anyway?
What is the worst thing that can happen?
Am I awfulizing?
Am I taking this too seriously? Too personally?
Am I downing myself or others?
Am I unrealistically demanding success? Approval? Control? Perfection? Certainty? Comfort? Fairness? My way?
Do I need this or only want it?
Can I stand it?
Am I babying myself?
How can I think more realistically?
Am I stewing rather than doing?
What are my options?
What, if anything, can I do?

Reality Check for Worriers:
Am I playing “what if”?
How probable are my worries?
Am I worrying enough?
Will worrying do any good?
Do I equate worry with caring?
What, if anything, can I do?

Reality Check for Procrastinators:
What emotions do I have about what I am putting off?
What are the advantages of doing it now?
What are the disadvantages of procrastinating?
Am I making excuses?
Am I putting myself down for procrastinating?
Will it kill me to do it for five minutes?
Can I break this task down?
What consequences can I give myself?
Am I doing the worst first?
Am I babying myself?

Reality Check for Parents:
Am I overlooking good behavior?
Are my expectations realistic?
Am I demanding compliance or teaching responsibility?
Is this a battle of wills?
Am I disciplining out of anger or frustration?
Is my child capable of doing this by himself or herself?
Am I separating the doer from the deed?
What are the natural or logical consequences of this misbehavior?
Am I providing appropriate, rewarded alternatives?

Reality Check for Lovers:
Am I buying in to romantic fantasies?
Do I expect love to make me happy?
Am I bassing my self-worth on being loved?
Do I need or only want love?
Are we pushing each other’s buttons?
Am I listening actively?
Am I communicating in my partner’s preferred style?
Are we taking each other for granted?
Am I ignoring what I want?
Are we playing the “who’s right and who’s wrong” game?
As I being aggressive or assertive?
How can we negotiate a “win/win” solution?
What kind of relationship can we create?

Adapted from: Reality Check: Twenty Questions to Screw Your Head on Straight by Dr/ Robert F. Sarmiento, Ph.D. You can visit his website at http://www.cyberpsych.com

Quotes of the Day
Happy the man/woman who early learns the wide chasm that lies between his wishes and his powers.
~ Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

A habit cannot be tossed out the window; it must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time.
– Mark Twain, 1835-1910, American Writer and Humorist

Affirmation of the Week
There is limitless supply and it is mine
I am financially secure
I am surrounded by loving, giving people
I am healthy and wealthy
I allow myself to prosper
I create abundance
I have more than I need in every area of my life

Kenya Abney has been a featured writer on the web. She loves feedback and can be contacted at kenmoab1@verizon.net.

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