Laugh
I love to laugh. I strive to be happy and think positive thoughts every day. I laugh all the time. I love to make jokes to break the tension. I love to laugh when I'm not too happy to keep things in perspective. I love to laugh when things are going right. Whenever I get together with a friend, we always manage to get a couple of laughs in. Life is full of opportunities to find a laugh. There are a lot of things that seem tragic when you are going through it. After you get some distant from the moments you can find great humor. It's ok to laugh at other people. Don't be mean with it. I have plenty of funny stories in my mental rolodex about friends, family and former co-workers. When I need it, I always think of something that will give me a chuckle. I never go a day without laughing at something. The minimum requirement is a chuckle. On the average, I get 3 hardy laughs a day. Tears are shed twice a week. I love to laugh. If you don't than you should try it.

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See this movie if you want the BeJesus scared out of you.

I saw this movie when I was a child. I want to say around 9 or 10. I mentally blocked out most of it. I do remember sleeping with the lights on for at least a week. I am pretty sure there was a lot of Bible clutching as well. Beside Carrie, I was never a horror fan to begin with. The Omen sealed the deal for me. Horror flicks never get my money. Although, The Orphan looks good. It might get my matinee money.

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I don't want anyone to apologize. I am not upset or mad with anyone. I just really like this song. There is always a point of no return, some people take you there without trying or being conscious of it. No one likes to be taken for granted.



The most interesting thing that happened today:
There is a homeless guy that used to amaze me with the places that he would pop up. I've been working down town for the last 4 - 5 years, I've seen him down town, in Pikesville, Owings Mills and Security Boulevard. That dude gets around. In New York people ask for money on the subway all the time. Not in Baltimore. I've never seen anyone asking for money on the train until today. A few minutes before I get to my stop, I heard a familiar voice from behind me say, "I'm a homeless man. Does anyone have a quarter?" No one moved. He began guilt tripping the people. "If it were not for the grace of God this could be you? You never know when you are entertaining angels? When you are a blessing to others than God will bless you?" Next thing I know, he is thinking people for the money that folds and doesn't jingle. Now I know why he has been homeless for at least 4 - 5 years. He is probably making good money being homeless.

I am tired. Today was a long day. It seems like a wake up rip and roaring to go. I mentally think of all the things that I'm going to do when I get home. I go to work. When I get home, I don't do anything except check e-mail, watch tv and shower. Sometimes I do other things. Mostly I don't. I am getting out of a rut. I've been having really good weekends lately. I'm still up because my sister told me that she is going to call me back. I'm sure that she is in her house knocked out now. I'm about to be knocked out in a couple of minutes myself.

Loving Life cause it loves me back,
Kenya Abney

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My daughter missed out on this. She turned 15 in June. She would not have been so excited about Pee Wee performing at her party. She would have sucked it up to get a free party. Pass it on to someone who is interested.

One Lucky Teen to Win a $45,000 Quinceanera Party From Verizon Wireless: "My Fabulous 15 contest Grand Prize includes a live performance by singing sensation Pee Wee at teen's party for 200 friends and family"

Loving Life cause it loves me back,
Kenya Abney

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Look Like A Star Without Spending Like One

MMI offers simple beauty tips that don't break the bank:

Make an appointment at a barber/beauty college. Visit your local beauty college and get your hair done for a low cost or, in some cases, for free! It may sound scary to have an inexperienced aspiring stylist "practice" on you, but a licensed professional is also onsite supervising.
Find great skin/hair products in your home. Olive oil has many nutritional values in many areas besides cooking. It is good for your hair and skin. Pour a little olive oil in your bath for a great skin softener or try using it as a conditioner for your hair. It's also a great cleansing cream. One tube of Vaseline can be used 50 different beauty ways including: lip gloss, cuticle cream, lotion, healing cream for dry skin on elbows and feet, and a quick faux eyelash extender.
Give yourself a mani/pedicure. You don't have to spend salon prices for a good manicure and pedicure. You can pamper yourself at home by buying a home-spa kit. Call up five of your closest friends and make it a girl's night!
Get your hair done on a Monday or Wednesday. These are the days with the least amount of traffic for most salons, so the best deals are offered on these days to help drive business. Plus, you'll get lots of attention from the stylist when business is slow.
Research coupons and specials. A little research goes a long way. Look up coupons online or sign up for promotional events through email. Many of the leading cosmetic companies offer great summer deals as do many salons. Visit http://printable-coupons.blogspot.com/2005/10/beauty-coupons.html for amazing beauty coupons.

Moving in the best direction,
Kenya Abney

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This contest may be your lucky break. You never know who will see your video, or what it will lead too. At the very least, it may be the first step in making your dreams come true. Nine West will introduce the Vintage America Voices Contest this month, in conjunction with the launch of Nine West Vintage America Collection. This campaign will celebrate the new collection, as well as allow brand ambassador and singer/songwriter Miranda Lee Richards to spearhead a talent search to help someone else find their voice, with the opportunity to record and release a single through Sony/ATV Music Publishing's in house label, Hickory Records.



Loving life cause it loves me back,
Kenya Abney

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It is the love/desire for money that is the root for all evil. If we lived in a world where people could trade chocolate for services/goods, than people would do crazy and strange things for chocolate. Would that make chocolate evil?

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Hello,

Recently, I had a death of a friendship. It was really bothering me. Reading this put things into perspective for me. My feelings are still hurt about it but I understand the lose.

Kenya Abney



RSL?
====

Are you a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime?

Pay attention to what you read. After you read this, you will
know the reason it was sent to you!

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a
lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know
what to do for each person.

REASON:

When someone is in your life for a REASON. . .
It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come
to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance
and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for
the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an
inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring
the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire
fulfilled, their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered.

And now it is time to move on.

SEASON:

When people come into your life for a SEASON it is because your
turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an
experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you
something you have never done. They usually give you an
unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real!

But, only for a season.


LIFETIME:

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you
must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what
you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of
your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life.

~©Brian A. "Drew" Chalker~

Stop here and just SMILE.

Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
And dance like no one is watching.

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I found it. This used to be my joint!!!!!

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I loved Whodini. If I can find, One Love it is a wrap.

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This takes me back to Junior High School.

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My birthday is in August. I usually put together my resolutions on my birthday because that is my own personal New Year. Here are the items that have been on my mind and in my heart lately.

Improve my outlook on life
I am a very encouraging person. I'm the one you want in your corner when you feel down. Unfortunately, I have problems motivating myself. I'm making progress. So far, I can tell that my point of view is shifting.

Cultivate my creative side
I like to write. I dabble, very little, in drawing. Usually, in the evening, I'll come home and vegetate in front of the tv. Now, I think about different projects that I can work on.

Develop a business plan
I began to submit the paperwork to start a publishing company. I have a couple of books of poetry and short stories that need to be edited. I want to catalog what I have. Get with an editor. Develop a plan and share my words with the world,

Develop e-interviews for my blog
I love people. I love to ask and learn about people. I want to develop a "8 questions for ..." feature for my blog. I am going to start with the people that send me e-mails and follow me on twitter. I have an Openzine account. If I have a lot of material, I may start a quarterly e-zine.

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It is official. I am jealous. Maxwell is performing for free somewhere in the world and I won't be there. If you are in New York on July 8 at 12, please make your way to CBS Early Show Studio Plaza (Corner of 59th Street and 5th Avenue). It's an outdoor concert, so even if you aren't close to the stage, you'll still be able to hear him. I'll be watching this video at that time, I'm sure I'll need a little something to get me through.



I'm Loving Life. It's Loving Me Back.
Kenya Abney

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Since I was sitting here thinking about yesterday, I had to dig up these 2 videos. They were my favorites when I was developing into a young woman. You could not tell me that I wasn't going to grow up to be Mrs. Christopher Williams. He was fine! Back in those days, I didn't know that you should pick a husband based on the content of his character. I thought, He looks good. I'm attracted to him. I can make it work. Sometimes I wish life was really that cut and dry. That 's a post for another day. Also, I was into that "pretty boy" "light skin" thing like most girls at that time. I'm not as color struck as I used to be. I have a great appreciation for all hues. I think that skin is so pretty, I don't like when people cover it up with tattoos. (Another post for another day.)

Hope you enjoy the video.


I wasn't going to be Mrs. B. Sure. I did love to look at his picture and listen to his music. Whatever happened to Kyle West? The guy he asked to break it down.


Loving Life. Life is Loving Me Back,
Kenya Abney

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Hello Good People,

I wasn't able to get the clips from YouTube, now they are "private" or "infringement on Viacom's rights". It's OK. If you really want to see the show than you'll watch it one of the many times that BET will rerun it.

I know that I'm late about this but I have been working on getting myself together in my own way. I couldn't begin to pinpoint a favorite song. I'm a fan of his beginning days with his brother all the way to Butterflies. I still wish that he had made a video for it. He will live on forever through his music and our memories. I remember the trading cards and posters. I remember gathering around the TV to watch the debut of his videos. I remember standing at the bus stop the next morning talking about it. Everyone loved Michael Jackson. The bully, the nerd, the cool kid, everyone would huddle together and talk about the magic of Michael Jackson. He has had too many songs, and provided the background music for too many precious moments in my life for me to pinpoint a favorite song. I can name a favorite video, though. Here it is:




You can watch the video if you want, I got up and danced.


Make the most of your day,
Kenya Abney

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This is one of my favorite O'Jay songs. I like the standards like, Backstabbers, Love Train, Stairway to Heaven, etc. This song is the truth. Cause there are some people that your heart makes you stay when your head says run. They just got their hooks in you. They don't make relationship songs like this anymore.

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Hello Good People,

Last week, I really enjoyed my life. I hung out with a great friend. Shout out to Charisse. Here are some highlights:

Went to DC
I used to work in DC. Baltimore is nowhere from DC but I never go anymore. The vibe is very different from Baltimore. I drove past my old work location. I wonder if Sammie, the guy that owns the hot dog stand, is still there. When I stopped working in DC, the building across the street was under construction. I finally saw the final product: people were sitting out front waiting for a bus. People looked happy and dressed great. The city was live and kicking at 11:00 on a Wednesday night. You would have thought that it was a Friday or Saturday night the way everything was jumping.

Saw Beyonce in concert
I wasn’t friends with Beyonce before Wednesday. I went to her movies. If her song came on the radio, I would listen. Occasionally, sing along, at least the chorus part. But, she has converted me. I am now a fan. I’ve told everyone that would listen that they should buy a ticket. She really is talented. She worked hard on that stage. I can’t believe she has enough energy to do that every night.

Spent quality time with great folks
Mentioned before that I hung out w/Charisse. We met a fun guy on the streets of DC. I think his name is Don. He had great conversation and made us laugh. Went to a cook out and connected with old friends and made some new

Renewed Appreciation for my life
With all the death that came about this week, I had a good time reminiscing with the Michael Jackson songs. Most of the songs took me back to simpler times. It also took me back to a time when I believed in myself more and dreamed. It has brought a lot into perspective for me. It brought me back to what is important to me.

Went to Church and talked to God more
I got a good message from the TV this morning. Got an even better message in the house of the Lord. Learned a lesson. I was having a bad moment. I wanted someone to talk to. I wanted someone to tell me to be still and let God. Let me be real, I wanted someone to say something that would make me feel better. First, I couldn’t get anyone on the phone. Than when I did, they said things that took me further into my bad moment. When I got off the phone, God put the words that I needed to hear in a complete strangers mouth. Lesson learned: Lean on God and His understanding. God knows what you need and when you need it. He will provide, you need to be open for your blessings to come from places that you wouldn’t ordinarily look.

Make the most of your day,
Kenya Abney

PS
Watched the BET Awards, Highlights were: any time Neyo or Jaime Foxx hit the stage, New Jack Swing and O'Jay's tributes and Maxwell Performance. Thinking about posting clips tomorrow after they hit Youtube. You can read my twitter comments in the column.

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It is a great story. It proves that truth is stranger than fiction. Before I read the book, I thought that Dorothy Dandridge was beautiful. I thought that she had talent. I knew nothing about her personal life. She had many struggles since childhood. At some parts of the book, it felt like the pages were turning themselves. I have a beat up copy that I pull off of the shelf every now and than. It is a long book but it is so interesting that most of the time, it doesn't feel like it.

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I loved that Teresa stood up for herself. People always underestimate you when you are nice.

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This is one of my Motown favs. I enjoy watching this performance.

Kenya Abney

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File this one under, you never know. You may be the winner of a much needed vacation. Where In The World Are The Cook Islands

Shared via AddThis

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That would be great because my daughter is going to be 16 this time next year. I'm starting to plan her Sweet 16. And, I was thinking about other pop up expenses. Right about now, I would be over joyed with a stack of extra cash. To be honest, who wouldn't be. Than you can buy yourself all the other things on the list.

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Hello Good People,

This has been some kind of month. First, I stretched myself some. My sister and I shared driving to Alabama from Maryland. To most that is not such a big deal. It is for me. Cars and I have always had a strange relationship. I don’t like to drive. If I were an old white lady, my name would be Daisy. I do like to ride in cars. I like the flexibility of coming and going at my on pace. I am the master at riding shotgun. I am good at providing snacks, talking to the driver to keep them awake, reading stop signs, etc. So this was a big stretch for me to do my share of driving. I was very proud of myself when the trip was over. The weather was nice. It was nice to see the cows in the fields. Horses roaming. Beautiful colors that I couldn’t imagine, I’d ever see. It was a nice trip. My daughter slept, read and listened to her ipod most of the trip. My sister and I talked when we weren’t taking turns napping. I also learned that Trina, my sister, have pretty good communication skills. We didn’t argue once about anything. We all had a great time. My cousin’s wedding was beautiful. The reception was great. I had quality time with my aunt and cousin. We confirmed a signature drink for Trina’s bachelorette party.

Today was a very relaxed day. As you can see from the videos that I chose, today was a Maxwell day. I had a nice chilled out vibe. I watched tv, slept, looked online for venues for Destiny’s Sweet 16 and Trina’s bachelorette party. It’s funny how the work day goes by so slow but the weekend goes by so fast. I had a turkey burger and vegetable for lunch, a bagel and peach for breakfast, I haven’t decided on dinner yet.

Make the most of your weekend,
Kenya Abney

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I absolutely love this song. I heard that R. Kelly wrote it. Don't know if it is true or not. I do know that I am glad that Maxwell recorded it. I can feel the emotions in his voice. I listen to this song at least once a month. Secretly, I would like for someone to feel that way about me one day. It keeps me holding on to hope.

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I never liked this video. It doesn't go with the song. Or, make you like the song more. This is an awesome song and it would be a hit without the video. Besides Maxwell's vocals are on point.

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This is one of my favorite Maxwell song's. I'm still trying to get into Pretty Wings.

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You know that I love Marvin Gaye. This is a classic song. The words are still appropriate for the times we live in. I hope you enjoy.

Kenya Abney

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I went there on a business trip. The mountains were beautiful. I had never been to a place like it before. The people were nice. It was the first place that I was ever asked to watch a movie trailer and give my opinion. Took a tour of the Temple Square. From watching tv, I thought that the Mormon's would be weird. Or, at least different from me. From taking the tour and interacting with the people, I changed my opinion. I haven't been back since the business. I truly believe in my heart that it won't be the last time my feet touches that ground or my eyes see those mountains.

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I absolutely love this song. I never get tired of listening to it. The Go West cover was pretty good. There is nothing like the original.

Kenya Abney

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This is how I'm feeling this morning. Have a blessed and highly favored day.

Kenya Abney

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Thai-Lay's-Potato-Chips

My vice is a specific flavor of potato chip. It is salt and vinegar. It started during my teen years. I saw a small bag on the shelf. I thought to myself, That is an interesting combination. I purchased it. After the first taste, I was hooked. You have to understand, I am not a salt girl. I don't like salt. I don't add it to my food. I don't look for it on the table at restaurants. I am fine with a world where salt doesn't exist...unless it is combined with vinegar and put on a potato chip. The salt and vinegar chips break my skin out and make me bloated but if they are around, I can't resist. I know that they are not good for me, so I avoid them at all costs. I hadn't had any in years. A couple of weekends ago, my friend and I were in the grocery store picking up snacks. She picked up a bag of bbq potato chips. Front and center, calling my name was a large bag of salt and vinegar potato chips. I ate half the bag that evening. I didn't share one chip with anyone else. I know I'm wrong. I can't help it. Salt and vinegar potato chips are the devil.

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I am going to post one more video and that is it. This is such a nice song.

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They are dancing their butts off in this video.

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I like this song. My sister and I were dancing to it. Get up off of that thing. Movement makes you feel good.

Kenya Abney

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motivation

I am a closet motivational speaker, and encourager of all. As a worker bee, I'm pretty good at doing research and passing along helpful information. I wanted to be a guidance counselor at one time. I'm an unofficial therapist to many.

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Another great weekend bites the dust. The weather was perfect. I got to catch up with a great friend. I had great food. Went to great events. Life is truly wonderful and fantastic.

I heard this in somebody's back yard. This used to be the jam. I wonder what Trina and Tamar are doing now? There brother is Jesse Powell. He sang "You". That's a song that I still listen to every now and than. Hope you enjoy this video.


I heard this one riding in the car. Hi-Five used to be my group. All of their songs take me back to a much simpler time in my life. I hope you like it.


This is the jam of the spring/summer. At first, I didn't like it. Now, I turn it up every time I hear it on the radio. Besides my daughter is a huge fan.


I love India.Arie. I like anything that she records.


Make the most of your day,
Kenya Abney

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I grew up on Breyers ice cream. The old fashion type is still my Dad's favorite. I think that Jane Krakowski is a good actress. If I could post a link for you to watch the webisodes directly, I would. Unfortunately, you have to click on the link. It is fun to watch. New Breyers Webisodes - With Video Enjoy

Kenya Abney

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It is funny. It has great music. Although the movie takes place in 1958 Harlem, you get caught up in the universal themes about stardom, drug use and relationships between family members. I was a kid the first time that I watched it. I still pull out the DVD every now and than to watch it.

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For Hip Hop News & Entertainment at DimeWars.Com

I think that she has merit to what she says. I was raised in a household where my Dad was the head. He had the final say. Sometimes he entertained comments, most of the time he didn't. His word was law. My Mom worked outside of the home. Her family was her top priority. She was nurturing, encouraging and about her family. I know that neither role was always easy to be in. As a child, it was good to know that I had a protecter and provider in the house.


Make the most of your day,
Kenya Abney

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I like transitioning from one thing to another. When I get home, on a good day, I put on exercise clothes and bust a sweat while following a tape/cd. Than I take a shower to wash off the day. Here is the best part, I put on my lounge wear. Lounge wear is anything that makes you feel comfy cozy. On a hard day, I will put on pajamas. On a good day, I'll put on fuzy slippers, leggings/sweat pants and a t-shirt. In the summer, a nice pair of shorts and a tank top. In the winter, I have a warm hoody. It is ratty and old, I should get rid of it. That is not going to happen. Sometimes on a Saturday, when I know that I'm not going any where, I'll put on some lounge wear and enjoy the day. I recommend it to everyone.

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Lifetime Television Picks Up Sherri Shepherd Comedy

I'm a fan of Sherry Shepherd. I definitely plan on watching the show when it airs. I hope it is a great success.

Make the most of your day,
Kenya Abney

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I was going through my e-mails yesterday. A friend sent this to me a couple of days before shw became a bride. I thought it would be a good post. So, here it is:

FINDING AND KEEPING A LIFE PARTNER
Golden rules for finding your life partner by Doc. Heller, M.A.

When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake.

Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%,it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr./Miss. Right!

If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love"; I believe this is the #1 mistake people make when they date.

Choosing a life partner should never be based on love.

Though this may sound "not politically correct", there's a profound truth here. Love is not the basis for getting married.

Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: "You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone"; you need a lot more!!!

Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.

QUESTION #1: Do we share a common life purpose?

Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together?

You need to share something deeper and more meaningful.

You need a common life purpose. Two things can happen in a marriage:
(1) You can grow together, or (2) you can grow apart. 50% of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life!

Bottom line; and marry someone who wants the same thing.

QUESTION #2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?

This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship.

Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust - I.e. Trust that I won't get "punished"; or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings.
Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

QUESTION #3: Is he/she a mensch?

A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves?

A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right thing"; so ask about your significant other what do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic?

Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement. There are essentially two types of people in the world: (1) People who are dedicated to personal growth and (2) people who are dedicated to seeking comfort. Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.

QUESTION #4: How does he/she treat other people?

The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure. Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed?

To measure this, think about the following:
* How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc.?
* How do they treat their parents and siblings?
* Do they have gratitude and appreciation? If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything; can you do nearly as much for them? You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly will eventually treat you poorly as well.

QUESTION #5:Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?

Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve"; them after they're married.

As a colleague of mine puts it: "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the worse" if you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them..

In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating; to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues.

Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didn't do your homework.

Another perspective. ... There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance.... (Some of y’all may need to read that again)

It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going anywhere relationships.

Observe the relationships around you. (This statement feeds into my thoughts on "Do Not Make Someone a Priority In Your Life, When All You Are Is Just An Option For Them")

Pay attention...Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don't really understand, know, or appreciate you?

The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you ... the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.

An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye"; Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, pity, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really that important.

* Do you bring out the best in each other?
* Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control?
* What do you bring to the relationship?
* Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?
* You can't take someone to the altar to alter them.
* You can't make someone love you or make someone stay.
* If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life"; you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Seeking status, sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.

WHAT KEEPS A RELATIONSHIP STRONG ARE:
1. TRUST
2. COMMUNICATION
3. INTIMACY
4. A SENSE OF HUMOR
5. SHARING TASKS
6. SOME GETAWAY TIME WITHOUT BUSINESS OR CHILDREN
7. DAILY EXCHANGES (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes)
8. SHARING COMMON GOALS AND INTERESTS
9. GIVING EACH OTHER SPACE TO GROW WITHOUT FEELING INSECURE
10.GIVING EACH OTHER A SENSE OF BELONGING AND ASSURANCES OF COMMITMENT

If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment withdrawal, abuse, neglect, and dishonesty; and pain will replace it.

Happiness keeps You Sweet,
Trials keep You Strong,
Sorrows keep You Human,
Failures keep You Humble,
Success keeps You Glowing,
But ......... Only God keeps You Going!
"In search for me, I discovered truth.

In search for truth, I discovered love and in search for love, I discovered God.
In God, I have found everything."

"Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goals...."

Authors Unknown


Make the most of your day,
Kenya Abney

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You can't miss what you never had. When it comes to love relationships that aren't anymore, depending on your mood, you can romanticize it to be better than it actually was. Also, a lot of people chase a feeling. Some folks stay in a relationship trying to get a certain feeling back. Other people cheat because they want the feeling of meeting someone new. The whole time, they know that the person at home is the best for them.



The thing about love and feelings are that, they change sometimes. Some times, they feel great and overwhelming. Other times, they feel like they are hiding from you and they're no where to be found. At times, it feels like it is better to not get on that roller coaster ride.

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Make the most of your day,
Kenya Abney

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I love music. When I'm in the car, I like to radio surf. My daughter hates it. She gets over it.



I have a few songs that I like to listen to when I am down. Or, when I'm feeling good and want to keep the momentum going.

Golden by Jill Scott

Every day that you wake up, you should be living your life because it is golden. Sometimes, I need to be reminded.

Strength, Courage & Wisdom by India Arie

This song is a real mental vitamin when I feel doubt in my abilities. It propels me forward.

Closer by Goapele

The beat is awesome. The way that her voice intertwines with the music makes you feel like you are really moving closer. It is like she has captured the emotions of working towards being your greatest self.

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Since twittering, I’ve come to a couple of conclusions:

1. I don’t want to share my thoughts with others as much as I thought that I did. I am always thinking about something. I have a large frame of reference. I read a lot. I have opinions about everything. I even type up something’s but never post them.
2. I waste time doing busy stuff that feels like I am doing something. I check e-mail. I wrote out a blogging schedule. I read about making money at home. I do everything that needs to be done except take action. It feels like I am making progress because I’m taking small steps but stopping short at the most significant point.
3. Other people are really getting their life on. I mean really. Whether they are running a business, selling on ebay or loving the job they have. People are really enjoying the lives that they have created. Those that don’t like their lives are changing it.
4. I think a lot about work, people at work, my family, my friends. People I see on tv. Everything and everybody to keep my mind off of what I am not doing. What I should be doing.
5. In a way, I am comfortable being stuck because I know what that is about. I am content in my unhappy feelings because I’m familiar with them

This is the beginning of a new month. I am starting a new exercise program. Drinking more water. I’m acknowledging when I feel a certain way about things. Before I would suck up my feelings and live through what ever I am going through until something less unsettling happens.

Listening to Metromom Online Success Telesummit, which is a step in the right direction. My goals for the month are to start making income using the Internet, create a draft of poetry ebooks and improve my blog.

Make the Most of your day,
Kenya Abney

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How did I get here? That is a question that I often ask myself. Sometimes, in a good way. Other times not so good. I can pin point the timeframe when I started on the path to where I am now. The summer of 1994, I graduated from college, became a mother and turned 21, in that order. I wasn't the most confident person in the world. I made most of my decisions based on what seemed like the safiest thing to do at the time. Or, I was very fearful and didn't think about the effect of my decisions on the overall big picture called my life. I second and third guessed myself all the time. In hind sight, I should have went with my gut feelings at the time. The best thing about living that way is that I realized that the sidewalk isn't going to open up when things go wrong. Believe me, things went wrong a lot. I have a greater understanding of the power of tomorrow. Thank God they come every 24 hours. I am not quit there but with each day, I'm gaining more and more confidence to take my self some place else.

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This was a good weekend. You know Friday is a good day because it ushers in the weekend. I dragged myself into the office as usual. What was unusual was that I had beautiful multicolored roses sitting on my “How may I help you counter?” as I approached my desk. I thought that they were for someone else. I thought that maybe someone couldn’t find the cube of who they belonged to. And, they belonged to me. LOL. Plus, I had hand dipped chocolate covered strawberries on my desk. Linda surprised me because it is Administrative Assistants Week. Yesterday, I went to get my oil changed. It turned out that I also needed my engine flushed. I wasn’t expecting the expense. I got a 12% discount on my total bill. God is good. On top of that, my bug is humming like when I first got it. Today, I took Destiny and her friend to Hershey Park. We went on a tour of the chocolate factory and everything. Afterwards, I drove Destiny’s friend home. I hopped in the shower. Now, I’m winding down so I can get a good night sleep. Prayerfully, this isn’t the end of a good weekend, but the beginning of great week. I'm surprised that I'm still awake. The Celebrity Apprentice was so good that I couldn't stop watching it.

I am in a Musiq Soulchild mood. That is unusual for me. Here is a double play. Hope you enjoy.



and



Make the most of the day,
Kenya Abney

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bug

I am really not into cars. I never know the name of the make, model or year. I know what I like when it is in front of me. As a kid, I always wanted a Volkswagon Bettle. That is what I currently drive. At first, I absolutely loved it. I'm getting to a point where I may need another car. Any suggestions?

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Hello,

Clean clothes are in the house. I made it to the laundromat.

What really matters?: Your thoughts about your self and what you think your place in this world is. A lot of people hold themselves back because they don’t value their skills or their unique qualities that make them who they are. Many dynamic people settle for jobs, relationships and situations because they don’t think that they deserve better. Or, they don’t feel that their voice is worth listening to. Yet there are some people that feel the world owes them something and they are more important than everyone else. Their actions support their beliefs so other people treat them like they are right.

Do you know someone that makes a difference in her community? L'Oréal Paris is proud to continue their longstanding commitment to support women's inner beauty through the fourth annual Women of Worth grassroots awards program. This year, 10 Women of Worth honorees will receive $5,000 for their charitable causes and a matching donation will be made on their behalf to the Ovarian Cancer Research Fund, L'Oréal's charitable partner since 1997. Additionally, one National Honoree will receive an additional $25,000 donation to her cherished nonprofit organization. For more information about the Women of Worth Program and to nominate a woman in your community, please visit www.womenofworth.com. Here is a video about it.



Make the most of your day,
Kenya Abney

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I've been dreading doing laundry all day. When I finally, separated the clothes, I had 6 loads. More than average but less than I thought. So, I was pleased with myself that this wasn't going to be as bad as I thought. I went to wash my first load and my washing machine started washing but it won't do a spin cycle. With that said I have to go to the laundry mat. I am not looking forward to working all day and than sitting in the laundromat all night. The life of a mother.

My daughter loves that new Beyonce song, Halo. I think it is all right. I saw the video and I like a little bit more. It features Michael Ealy aka Mr. Cutie on Duty. It is officially my favorite video this week. He is so handsome. Here is the video. Hope you enjoy it.



Thembisa Mshaka wrote, "Put Your Dreams First" as a guide for getting the career you want in the entertainment field. Let's say you don't want to get into the entertainment business. The stories are still informative and inspiring. You may read something that helps you take your life to another level. The free pdf version is only available for a short period of time. Check out the press release here.

Business Plus to Distribute Free Pre-Publication E-Book in Collaboration With Interactive One, the Digital Connection for Black America

Lastly, Here is a Beyonce and Jay-Z flashback. Can you believe this song was out in 2003? Not me. This is actually one of my favorites.



Make the most of the day,
Kenya Abney

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Central Park is special and unique because it seems like it doesn't belong in the city. Trees and flowers. It seems so big. Everyone looks like they are enjoying life whether they are jogging, roller blading or just sitting in the grass reading a book. On some nights they have free concerts. You can spread out a blanket or stand on your feet, the sky is your ceiling and the ground is your floor. The sun feels good on your skin and sounds of life going on surround you.

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Happy Thursday,

Watching the local news before I officially start the day. A teacher was arrested for drug dealing. She had crack in her car. I know that the drug dealers moved from the corners to the schools buildings. I never think of teachers. What is this world coming to?

In case you were wondering which Rick Ross song, I was referring to yesterday, here is the video. I really like John Legends vocals on this track.




I used to love Renee and Angela. Music is missing a strong male/female duo. Here is one of my favorite jams:



Post later,
Kenya Abney

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This is turning out to be a long week. I didn't get home until after 8:00. I didn't wash off the day and lotion on my evening until after 9. I did brain dead activities like surf the net and watch tv. I meant to do so many things. I ended up doing nothing. Now, I'm tired and I can't go to the sleep.

I was in the car with my daughter and All The Above came on the radio. I said, I wish they'd play the Rick Ross song. How come they don't play "You Can Have Whatever You Like". My daughter said, "I saw the video and listened to the words. You'll probably like this song if you watch the video." I just listened while it played. She was right I liked it. Here is the video:





I didn't know it was Maino. I liked Hi Hater. Maino is trying to get my money with songs like that.

Make your day count,
Kenya Abney

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Pennsylvania's Quest for Freedom Live and Learn Weekends Continue With a 'Song Yet Sung'

I already have my plans for next weekend sewed up. In case you want to do something different. I read "Song Yet Sung". It is a great read. If I had known about this before now, I would have made plans to go.

Kenya Abney

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Bank of America Begins Mortgage Refinancing under U.S. Treasury's 'Making Home Affordable' Plan

I've heard about this program on the news. The only thing that I didn't hear about was the details. Please don't procrastinate on this one. Bank of America and Countrywide customers can call the following phone numbers for more information on refinancing and loan modification opportunities:

Bank of America Customers
Refinancing: 888-256-7683
Loan Modifications: 800-285-6000

Countrywide Customers
Refinancing: 800-593-7798
Loan Modifications: 800-669-6607


Kenya Abney

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It is the weekend!!! My big plan for the day: clean my house. I am for real this time. The sound went out on my tv in the kitchen. I have a tv upstairs that refuses to turn to channel 3 so I can ‘t hook it up to the cable. The only working tv is in the basement. So, I’m starting at the top and working my way down. Watching television is going to be my reward for cleaning. Well, watching tv while doing laundry. It is a rainy dreary day in Baltimore. I was originally going to hang with some friends but that got cancelled. So, I’m going to do chores.

Check out this list of The 25 Funniest Women in Hollywood. It has Wanda Sykes on it, of course. And a lot of others that you would expect like: Tina Fey, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Maya Rudolph and Nicole Sullivan.

Some of the women that I am glad are getting some shine are Mindy Kaling, Rashida Jones and Octavia Spencer. I love Octavia Spencer’s work. I never knew her name. Check it out. Let me know what you think.

Kenya Abney

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What is Easter? What do Christians Celebrate on Easter?
By Mary Fairchild, About.com

On Easter Sunday, Christians celebrate the resurrection of the Lord, Jesus Christ. It is typically the most well-attended Sunday service of the year for Christian churches.

Christians believe according to Scripture, that Jesus came back to life, or was raised from the dead, three days after his death on the cross. As part of the Easter season, the death of Jesus Christ by crucifixion, is commemorated on Good Friday, always the Friday just before Easter. Through his death, burial and resurrection, Jesus paid the penalty for sin, thus purchasing for all who believe in him, eternal life in Christ Jesus.

In Western Christianity, Easter marks the ending of Lent, a 40-day period of fasting, repentance, moderation and spiritual discipline in preparation for Easter. Lent begins on Ash Wednesday and ends on Easter Sunday. Eastern Orthodox churches observe Lent or Great Lent, during the 6 weeks or 40 days preceding Palm Sunday with fasting continuing during the Holy Week of Easter. Lent for Eastern Orthodox churches begins on Monday and Ash Wednesday is not observed.

Because of Easter's pagan origins, and also because of the commercialization of Easter, many Christian churches have begun to refer to it as Resurrection Day.

The biblical account of Jesus' death on the cross, or crucifixion, his burial and his resurrection, or raising from the dead, can be found in the following passages of Scripture: Matthew 27:27-28:8; Mark 15:16-16:19; Luke 23:26-24:35; and John 19:16-20:30.

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KODAK Gallery Launches First Ever Mom-a-Thon by Giving Away One Million Free Photo Cards* for Mother's Day

File this under: It's free and why not? Maybe your Mom will be presently surprised.

Kenya Abney

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Web Site Opens Teach Children to Save Campaign to Everyone

This is a good resource for teaching children to manage money. Even if you don't have kids, this is good for you to learn. We all need help in these unsure times.

Kenya Abney

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Enter for a chance to Win the Ultimate Family Reunion Vacation at ESSENCE Music Festival(R), New Orleans

File this one under, "You Never Know". This may be your opportunity to reconnect and renew family ties. At the very least, you can enjoy the Music Festival.

Kenya Abney

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Unemployed to Entrepreneur - 5 Businesses You Can Start for Under $5,000

The business ideas are fresh. Click the link, you may discover a way to make your first million. When you do, I want you to take me to dinner. Who doesn't want to eat with a millionaire?

Kenya Abney

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Jackson Hewitt Outlines Important Tips for Last-Minute Tax Return Filers

You have a few days to get it together. Hopefully, these tips will make the process easier for you.

Kenya Abney

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Right now, I have a slight headache. I'm tired and ready for bed. I have a lot on my mind. The words running through my mind won't let me settle into an easy slumber. I don't want to take melatonin. I don't want to put on the tv or radio so my mind could be occupied by something other than my thoughts. I do it almost every night. Sometimes I read to relax, other times I'll write about things that bothered me during the day. Mostly, I lay awake. A big part of me doesn't want to let my feelings out. A slightly smaller part of myself feels that I don't deserve to sleep. I am grateful for tomorrow. It is my Friday. I have a dentist appointment on Friday. Not looking forward to that. I am looking forward to tomorrow morning. I anticipate waking up without a headache; feeling refreshed and ready for the day.

Kenya Abney

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Did you know that tomorrow is the American Heart Association's National Start! Walking Day? Me either. It is a day when people decide to walk for 30 minutes on paths that cities across the country deem "walker friendly." The American Heart Association has made it easy for you to participate. You can sign up for their free program at The Start! Walking Program. At the site, you'll find downloadable walking plans and a supportive community.

Start! is sponsored nationally by SUBWAY® Restaurants, Healthy Choice® and AstraZeneca. For more information, call 1-800-AHA-USA1 or visit startwalkingnow.org.

Let me know how it works out,
Kenya Abney

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Who couldn't use tips? I'm all for saving money and being healthy. Click on the link to read the article. TIPS FOR LIVING A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE ON A BUDGET

Kenya Abney

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Laid Off? Tell American Laser Centers Your Story for a Chance to Win a Pink Slip 'Pick-Me-Up'

The funny thing about life is, you never know when you are going to reach a turning point. This could be a corner that helps someone turn their bad luck around. So, if you fit the bill, get to writing. You could be the winner.
Kenya Abney

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Hello Good People,

I had a great weekend. I had good company, good food and good times. I couldn't ask for much more. I wish it didn't end.

Before I slide into another work week, I read about Motown celebrating Marvin Gaye's 70th birthday. I am a huge fan of Marvin Gaye. I can never get enough of his voice. Check out this video:



Speaking of great male singers, I am watching Unsung. It is about Donnie Hathaway. I like his music. It is not Christmas time, if I don't hear his version of This Christmas. I didn't know much about him as a person. This show is revealing a lot of interesting facts about him. If you get an opportunity, you should watch it.

By the way, I assembled a vanity and stool all by myself. I am truly proud. I am definitely not a DIY Diva but I'm on my way to being a Diva in training. Hope you had a great weekend.

Post later,
Kenya Abney

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I can cook. I just don't like to. I am actually a good cook. I never tried to create a recipe but I can follow one like nobodies business. With that said, like everyone else in the country, I am looking to cut corners. Buying lunch and sometimes breakfast can be a big cash waster. The free Betty Crocker® online cooking club at www.BettyCrocker.com/TheMixer is now open for registration. At the very least, I'll try something new. At the most, I'll have new recipes and cash in my pocket. You should try it too.

Check out the promo video:

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On-the-Job Training: Recession-Proof Your Mindset

You should read this, especailly if you're sitting at your desk humming, "Y'all going to make me loose my mind, up in here, up in here".

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New Twitter Phenomenon Debuts at SXSWi - TwitterJobSearch Goes Where Google Doesn't and Makes Sense of Social Media with Semantic Search

Whether you love your job, hate your job or looking for a job, every resource is valuable. You can search by location as well as job title. I hope this helps.

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On Discovery Teens and Kids Cruise Free & Stay Free in the Bahamas This Summer

I have never been on a cruise but I would love to go. This sounds like a great deal for anyone out there that is interested.

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VIRTUOSO LIFE(R)'S Third Annual 'Travel Dreams Sweepstakes' Lets Consumers Explore Their Travel Ambitions: "http://www.prnewswire.com/cgi-bin/stories.pl?ACCT=104&STORY=/www/story/03-03-2009/0004982142&EDATE="

You can file this one under: You never know. You could be the lucky winner. Take a chance.

Have a good rest,
Kenya

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New Big Brothers Big Sisters Campaign Calls for More Men to Mentor

My daughter is a part of this program. I recommend it to anyone. You never know what kind of difference you can make in someone's life.

Kenya Abney

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Whole Foods Market(R) Partners With Teens Turning Green to Launch Project Green Prom and Nationwide Contest

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UM Experts Offer Tips to Make it Easier to 'Spring Forward'

I look forward to spring time. I can't wait for consistent warm weather.

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Get Married and Celebrity Event Designer Colin Cowie Offer Wedding Tips and Trends to the Budget-Savvy Bride

Kenya Abney has been a featured writer on the web.

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Non-Diamond Engagement Rings Gain Popularity in Fragile Economy

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Money-Saving Deals for 2009 Vacations

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adidas and Candace Parker Empower Female Athletes to Share Personal Stories in 'Me, Myself' Training Contest

If you got a story. Why not enter?

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This story is for the tv-holics out there. If you aren't around, set the tivo.

Kenya

Palladia Celebrates the GRAMMY(R) Awards with Over 25 Different Music Shows and Concerts Featuring GRAMMY-Nominated Artists Airing All Weekend Friday - Sunday, Beginning February 6 at 9pm*

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'Heartless' by Kanye West

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Bring In The Ice Cream Truck: In An Economic Downturn, Brides and Event Planners Look To Cut Wedding Costs But Not Style

my sister is getting married in August. So, things like this interest me. I would have never thought of an ice cream truck at a wedding.

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Life is full of coincidences. I was just telling my friend yesterday, that I haven't seen Sister Souljah on the tv or radio promoting her book. I think that it is selling because random people in restaurants and on the street have given my their opinion while I was either reading or carrying the book. If you are interested, 3 Chicks on Lit will discuss "Coldest Winter Ever" and "Midnight" with the lady herself, Sister Souljah at 7pm EST on December 17th. Check it out www.blogtalkradio.com/chicksonlit

It should be a good discussion.

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In case you are wondering, "Where are they now?", here is their official website: wwww.forcefulworld.com

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'Making The Monkees' Revisits Rise and Fall of 1960s Musical Phenomenon

I grew up watching The Monkees, along with the Brady Bunch, after school. Set your tivo, it may have some interesting drama.

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'Tis the Season to be Jolly... and Responsible

Enjoy the tips,
Kenya

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Photos: Smithsonian's Anacostia Community Museum Presents 'Jubilee: African American Celebration'

If you are in DC, this seems like something interesting to do. You can check it out with your family. Or, it would be a nice date activity.

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DC Counts Down 44 Days to Inauguration with 44 Free Experiences

You can take this as a challenge or a "to do list".

Have a good one

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Today started off a little Shakey.com but it progressively got better. I finished reading 2 books this week.

The first is Spiritual Rules of Engagement by Yehuda Berg. I browsed this book several times over the last couple of weeks before picking it up. It was an interesting read. First off, it is written by a man who I thought was an interesting perspective. Second, its ideology is rooted in Kabbalah. I am a Jesus girl. I will always be a Jesus girl so I don't have issues with reading about other religions. I am 100% sure of what I believe in. With that said, this book had many great points for women whether they are looking for love with someone or not. My favorite points from the book are:
1. You have to be your own source of happiness.
2. You should love and respect yourself more than a man/relationship. If you don't, you need to act like it.
3. Select a partner that you believe in and can stand behind.
4. Evaluate potential partners the same way you would a potential employee of your company. Let them stay or go based on performance. Do evaluations when necessary.
Those are my words; but Yehuda Berg has his own way of saying it. He has other great gems for you.

The second is Love Matters: Remarkable Love Stories That Touch the Heart and Nourish the Soul. I picked this one up because I occasionally listen to Delilah when I am driving late at night. Her radio show is entertaining and great to listen to. Her book did not disappoint. The stories were funny, heartfelt and touch upon every aspect of love. There is something in there for everyone. I really enjoyed the stories. It is an easy read that you can put down and pick up at your leisure.

Reading something good? Let me know.

My favorite video this week:


I can have whatever I like!!!!!

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Fall is officially here. I leave for work in the dark and come home in the dark. The best thing about daylight savings time is that it is a sign that the holiday season is on its way. The Holidays is my favorite thing about this time of the year. Any who, I’ve noticed people coughing and sneezing around me a lot more. My daughter got a flu shot today. I decided to post some tips to counter the common cold.

1. Eat a lot of fruits, vegetables and whole grains. Those foods build up your immune system.
2. Drink water. We all know that it keeps you hydrated. Did you know that water helps distribute nutrients throughout your body and flushes away toxins?
3. Wash your hands throughout the day to avoid spreading germs. Carry hand sanitizer as a back up.
4. Keep your hands away from your eyes, nose and mouth to prevent germs from getting into your body.
5. Cover your nose and mouth when you sneeze or cough. Please don’t sneeze or cough into your hands. Use the elbow of your sleeve to avoid spreading your germs.


Here is a financial tip for you:


Here is another health tip for you:

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