0
What Do I Want From Myself
Posted by Unknown
on
12:41 PM
Hello Good People,
This is some kind of summer. I think that I’m having a crisis. Or, I want to press the reset button and overhaul my entire life. My birthday is in a couple of weeks. I’m not feeling this way because of that. I’m feeling this way because I’m feeling like I’ve been mismanaging my life and I don’t know what to do to stop it. I’m scared of going another way. I’m used to being lost, unappreciated and hiding from my true feelings. I’m used to not knowing what I want and being fine with going with the flow even when it drifts me far from the shore that I think I want to be on. This summer, I thought that I was going to loose my job. At first, I was crippled with fear. I thought about all the debt that I’m in. I thought about my mortgage and the day-to-day expenses that are getting over my head with a regular paycheck. I started running scared. I was applying for any job I heard about it an the Assistant field in the event that someone tapped me on the shoulder. Than I thought to myself, if I leave before they offer me a package than I won’t be getting what I deserve and I could pay down some debt and live off of that money until the summer ends. I began to fantasize about my days of blogging, doing e-interviews with people that I admire and find interesting, selling t-shirts and bags through café press, writing a screenplay, finally putting my stories together and publishing. Lastly, I want to devise a plan to build my network. I don’t have business success because no one knows me. I’m not meeting eligible bachelors that can lead to the relationship of my dreams because I’m not in the position to meet anyone. I’m not planting the seeds of the fruits that I want in my life. I was going to take two weeks to do nothing and do temp work three days a week. I had my mind wrapped around leaving. Now, I’m not going anywhere. Things have happened that I don’t want to go into over the last couple of months that has changed my attitude about work and my life. I’m taking graduate courses that are showing me that I’m smarter than I thought I was. I can make smart business decisions and my opinion does count. I’m scared because just enough isn’t good enough for me anymore. The picture of what I want my life to be is becoming clearer. I have a lot of work ahead of me. My finances are a mess and I’ve been hiding from them. They are in my e-mail, on my phone and in my face saying pay attention. One of my goals for today is to review the main areas of life: relationships, work, finances, health and spiritual. I’m becoming a new person. This time next week, I will be closer to the shore of my new life.
Stay blessed,
K.M. Abney
This song sums up how I feel right now. What do I want from myself? What do I want for myself? It is an internal battle that only I can fight within myself.
|
This is some kind of summer. I think that I’m having a crisis. Or, I want to press the reset button and overhaul my entire life. My birthday is in a couple of weeks. I’m not feeling this way because of that. I’m feeling this way because I’m feeling like I’ve been mismanaging my life and I don’t know what to do to stop it. I’m scared of going another way. I’m used to being lost, unappreciated and hiding from my true feelings. I’m used to not knowing what I want and being fine with going with the flow even when it drifts me far from the shore that I think I want to be on. This summer, I thought that I was going to loose my job. At first, I was crippled with fear. I thought about all the debt that I’m in. I thought about my mortgage and the day-to-day expenses that are getting over my head with a regular paycheck. I started running scared. I was applying for any job I heard about it an the Assistant field in the event that someone tapped me on the shoulder. Than I thought to myself, if I leave before they offer me a package than I won’t be getting what I deserve and I could pay down some debt and live off of that money until the summer ends. I began to fantasize about my days of blogging, doing e-interviews with people that I admire and find interesting, selling t-shirts and bags through café press, writing a screenplay, finally putting my stories together and publishing. Lastly, I want to devise a plan to build my network. I don’t have business success because no one knows me. I’m not meeting eligible bachelors that can lead to the relationship of my dreams because I’m not in the position to meet anyone. I’m not planting the seeds of the fruits that I want in my life. I was going to take two weeks to do nothing and do temp work three days a week. I had my mind wrapped around leaving. Now, I’m not going anywhere. Things have happened that I don’t want to go into over the last couple of months that has changed my attitude about work and my life. I’m taking graduate courses that are showing me that I’m smarter than I thought I was. I can make smart business decisions and my opinion does count. I’m scared because just enough isn’t good enough for me anymore. The picture of what I want my life to be is becoming clearer. I have a lot of work ahead of me. My finances are a mess and I’ve been hiding from them. They are in my e-mail, on my phone and in my face saying pay attention. One of my goals for today is to review the main areas of life: relationships, work, finances, health and spiritual. I’m becoming a new person. This time next week, I will be closer to the shore of my new life.
Stay blessed,
K.M. Abney
This song sums up how I feel right now. What do I want from myself? What do I want for myself? It is an internal battle that only I can fight within myself.
|
Posts
